concept: instead of 4 more Fantastic Beasts movies, Comedy Central takes over and produces 50 episodes of Drunk History: Wizarding World Edition
historian, holding his 5th glass of firewhiskey: I’m here to talk to you about…. about Claudius Cleansweep, the goddamn founder of modern Quidditch.
[cut to Gilderoy Lockhart in period attire]
a group of 7th year Hogwarts girls huddled around a dozen empty bottles of butterbeer: Nononono no fuck Dumbler…dumberder. Door. I wanna talk about the fucking baddest bitch in Hogsnose. Fuckin’ Minerva fucking McGonnagal *sees a cat* oh fuck is that her?
after my recent visit to France I have to kinkshame some classic french sculptors. This is a statue in foyer of Paleontology museum in Paris (Galeries d’Anatomie comparée et de Paléontologie)
I mean, what the fuck. They asked for a brutal struggle of man vs nature and got that orgasmic twink being choked by daddy orangutan
Then in the courtyard of Lyon’s museum of fine arts (Musée des Beaux-Arts de Lyon) there’s a statue of goddamn anime tentacle porn
I’m a gay homosexual male man but as soon as I saw Cate Blanchett start turning those looks in Ocean’s 8 I could feel the powerful psychic energies of thousands of my lesbian and bisexual sisters collectively swooning at the sight and honestly I’m so happy for y’all you drink in that raw sapphic beauty this weekend you deserve it.
sparksoffandommagic 