post-hephaestus hera

genderbinaryisforlosers:

• concept: instead of just linking her up to a bunch of cameras around the house or w/e, someone has the bright idea to buy a drone and a roomba and some wireless speakers and let her move around in those
• she is always in a prime “looks into the camera like i’m on the office” location
• DJ Roomba in the hooooouuse
• quite often knocks shit over like a cat and pretends it was accidental
• sometimes makes like she’s filming a home video and gets really close to everyone’s faces 
• “what are you doing today doug”
• “i’m.. making mac and cheese,, hera not so clOSE youre gonna get burned or OW MY NOSE YOU DICK”
• hera: *skitters across the floor*
  minkowski: OH JESUS CHRIST I THOUGHT YOU WERE A RAT
• she hates having to physically move between rooms bc it removes a lot of the element of surprise and its so slow 
• but sometimes she’ll suddenly take the drone/roomba online and say something and doug always screams
• hera was the stabby we needed all along…
• hera: doug i have an idea 
• doug: shoot
• hera: tape a knife to me
• doug: yES
• -ten minutes later-
• renée standing on the couch: WHY
• doug, ankle bleeding: FOR SCIENCE
• doug takes her on expeditions to the park and holds a remote control that he pretends works
• once there was a break-in at the apartment and hera scared them away by pretending to be a self-destruct countdown and when she’s lonely it makes her laugh
• no longer has the power to make doug’s showers cold but she DOES have the power to obnoxiously blast music at him whenever she wants, which can be just as effective
• all of her appliances have been appropriately bedazzled by renée. doug tried but he ended up bedazzling himself and getting covered in glue