Things my Brother’s Girlfriend has said- Writing Prompt List.

t-adash-i:

t-adash-i:

this has been collected over about a week. I recently moved into the basement, next to their bedroom, and I can hear her talking while watching TV. Here are some of my personal favorites.

• I just don’t think Evan Peters is that attractive.
• She was so excited to move down here. I’ll make her less excited.
• Matt Murdock can suck my non-existent dick.
• I don’t see the big deal about football. It’s basically ballet, but with more violence and really big, buff guys.
• Wait, the Broncos mascot is a Bronco?
• Eggo me leggo, friend. I haven’t shaved in a week.
• The only thing I like about her is her taste in music.
• It’s like the Lion King but with buns.
• Your man bun isn’t even a bun yet. It must be a man biscuit. A mascuit.
• Nightcrawler and Beast Boy are the same, one’s blue though.
• I wish my life was like a Fall Out Boy song title.
•  I HATE THIS. I HATE YOU. I HATE THE WORLD.
• What do you mean the pasta wasn’t that good? I’m 25% Italian. It should have been the best pasta of your whole life.

• I think your sister has a crush on me. She’s Bisexual, right?
• We NEED TO STOP BRINGING LEFTOVERS HOME. YOUR MOM THREW OUT MY RED ROBIN.
• Cheese is the devil’s food.
• That was amazing, but wait, you got something stuck in your teeth. A song by Fall Out Boy.
• Our sex life doesn’t exist, but aliens do. In what way is this fair?
• When your sister becomes famous for writing or whatever, can we live in her basement?
• I don’t like eggs, but I love chicken nuggets. Weird, they’re both chickens.
• I was Vegan for five years, I can tell you that what you’re eating isn’t good for you.
• STOP EATING IT, YOU BOOB.
• Do dicks float, or what happens when they’re in water?