i say this like once a month but modern artemis would absolutely be a country butch lesbian wearing aviator shades and a messy ponytail and a camo jacket and hunting boots, she’s in a bigass silver truck with a deer skull mounted on the front, she’s got her gold shotgun next to her and there’s like 10 girls in the back of the truck with beers and she’s doing donuts in the bass pro shops parking lot blasting like dixie chicks
Are you a “Shiro swears literally every other sentence” voltron stan or a “Shiro never swears and always tells the other paladins to watch their language” voltron stan
• we’re sorry, this number is unavailable at this time. to leave a callback number, press 5. beep
• how did you get in my house
• point into the distance. do not say anything, and do not point at anything specific. just point.
– open ur mouth do not yell do not scream open ur mouth – kick ur leg really high and then walk away – internet startup noise – get into an idle stance like you are in a video game and that question was the start of a new match – call upon the dark eldritch gods to transport you to another dimension – eat an entire football
-yes -no
*Robot voice* we are sorry. That app does not exist on this device
Scuttle away like Zoidberg
– start singing Smash Mouth – ask them their favorite kind of crab – hand them a cupcake with a bite taken out of it – scream the national anthem – “I am satan, lord of darkness” – begin speaking in tongues – “FOOL! YOU KNOW NOT OF WHAT YOU SPEAK! PH’NGLUI MGLW’NAFH CTHULHU R’LYEH WGAH’NAGL FHTAGAN!!” – just shriek
I cannot believe that Hermione did not take advantage of that Rita skeeter’ article that said she was dating harry. I would be like HELL YES BITCHES I FUCKED THE BOY WHO LIVED, THE BOY WHO LIVED IS MY FUCKING SEX TOY! GUESS WHAT? HE ALSO DID DRACO MALFOY, 70% OF THE GRYFFINDOR HOUSE, YOUR SISTER, AND YOU ARE THE NEXT!
she could ask their friends to spread they also fucked harry potter to different prophet’ reporters until gets so ridiculous that it lost all credibility.
“Yes, I did the potter” -Viktor Krum
“Of course, Harry is so lovely” – Fleur Delacour
“I showed to him some nice stuff in the bath” – Cedric Digory (does not like to lie)
“He and Malfoy are often at each other” -Severus Snape and the entire Slytherin house
“At the same time” – Fred and George Weasley
“Harry truly is amazing, he is always gentle with us.” – Luna Lovegood with Neville Longbottom hiding behind her, nodding, mortified.
“Let’s just say that he can ride more than just a broom”- Oliver wood “Let’s just say that he being able to catch the snitch with his mouth was not a coincidence” – Ginerva Weasley.
“He made us gay” – Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas.
Harry does not stop glaring at everyone for the entire school year, meanwhile Ron literally cannot stop laughing
At the end of the year Dumbeldore awards Gryffindor an additional five hundred house points for Harry’s achievements at bedding the entire student body, the other teachers all have their heads in their hands they are working in a ridiculous place of ridiculous people
sparksoffandommagic 