haiku-robot:

not-all-trains:

hyperioncitypd:

thought-42:

a-basill:

frith-in-thorns:

a-basill:

i’m beginning to think that warren kepler himself wrote the si-5 handbook, like, specifically for his agents

#he would you know he would #the handbook is a Word Pad document he emails to them #wait no it’s in the body of the email it’s not even attached
(@thought-42)

one of them complains and he sends a followup email with an audiobook edition wherein he spends the first minute berating whoever had the AUDACITY to give a complaint, the next three minutes slowly reading the first rules and somewhere around rule 6 he actually just runs off into a tangent about how actually, he made this rule based off of a real life crisis he was in wherein he learned the true potentials of a bottlecap as both a weapon and an instrument

#THE ONLY SAVING GRACE THEY HAVE IS THAT HE CAN’T (OR WONT) FIND OUT HOW TO BURN THE AUDIO VERSION TO A CD
#THERE ARE LESS THAN 20 RULES IN TOTAL ACTUALLY? BUT WHEN HE READS THEM ALLOWED IT TAKES HIM LIKE TWO HOURS AND TEN MINUTES
#TO GET THROUGH THE WHOLE THING
 (via @a-basill)

i want to note that this means he wrote the first three rules (no unnecessary questions, no frivolous questions, basically no fucking questions) so that he could win at questions only

Jacobi: Why do we have to do this?

Kepler: First three rules of the SI Handbook, Mr. Jacobi

Jacobi, about to invent Questions Only: oh haven’t you heard?

jacobi about
to invent questions only:
oh haven’t you heard

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