i hate when people in movies/tv are reading ancient languages and they translate everything really smoothly and poetically, as if when people who study ancient languages aren’t consulting three different commentaries and sobbing profusely when we read
ok so like…. it says
“come you all into the deepest cavern, or maybe that’s fireplace, depends on usage, and having come may you give your…. treasures? Skin? Pants? I don’t know, something…. to the….. about-to-be-adored guy, that one who…. okay, he either causes earthquakes or sleeps a lot, I think this might be an idiom….”
“ok, sorry that took so long and i hate to disappoint but i’m still not entirely sure what it means, like, it could be something about a religious ceremony or it could be a dick joke. leaning towards dick joke, might be both. knowing the ancients, probably both. this could very well be an ancient dick temple and we should probably leave.”
Funnest part is when you get shit like this:
Why yes that is a text comprised of almost exclusively crocodile hieroglyphs.
We also can’t get a coherent translation because the grammar makes absolutely no sense. Participles and Participial statements all the way. Sobek who is Crocodile of Crocodopolis who advances the Crocodile for the Crocodiles….
The crocodile hieroglyph is also used to write sovereign and an adjective meaning power…so the text is suuuuuuuper confusing.
As someone who knows nothing of hieroglyphics, I would assume this meant “There’s a lot of crocodiles here, you should probably leave.”
This is clearly how the ancients wrote “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
pop culture intertextuality is just so damn *fascinating*
today a parody movie (50 shades of black) comes out, based on the 50 shades of grey movie, which was based on the 50 shades book, which was based on twilight, which was somewhat based on interview with the vampire (which anne rice based on an earlier short story she wrote), which was based on Dracula and other vampire stories, which originally came from Dr. John Polidori’s The Vampyre (even though Vampires were a thing in folk tales before then, he was the one who made them all classy, etc.)
so really, like so many things, this is all Lord Byron’s fault.
I just have to add that the Pirates of the Caribbean movies are based of an amusement park ride which is based on a movie which is based on a book.
In over 50 thousand notes this is the best addition to my post.
Why do people make draco so promiscuous in fan fics? He literally only had one girlfriend throughout the entire series (and only one eye fucking partner [Harry]). Plus he grew up in a traditional home that probably didnt allow sex before marriage
Why do people do the same for Lucius too? Like seriously, nearly every fic I read he’s made into a sex god who lost his virginity at 13 (???????)
THANK YOU. Like, one of the Slytherin values is traditionalism so why?? do?? people?? think?? they’re?? sex?? gods?? and?? goddesses?? like?? they?? probably?? wait?? for?? marriage??
the thing that boggles my mind is that Harry’s always depicted as a blushing virgin in the face of Draco’s ~prowess~ when, as we all know, Draco is a giant nerd who wouldn’t know what suave is if it bit him in the ass. when you think about it, Harry is probably the one more likely to fluster Draco because he’s a sassy little shit who I have no doubt will waggle his eyebrows at Draco from across the room and whisper dirty pick up lines in his ear at public events just to rile him up.
okay I had to reblog this again because suave!sassy!flirty!confident!Harry is what I live for and why don’t people realize this makes more sense for their characterizations
like Harry could’ve been in Slytherin so we know he’s sly and all that, but he was put in Gryffindor, which makes him more impulsive/daring. This means there’s a 103% chance that Harry James Potter was a shameless flirt, when it came to Draco.
I refuse to believe that the Hogwarts King of Sass was a bumbling, blushing, clumsy, mumbling virgin.
I believe Draco could talk a mean game, but when it came time to put his money where his mouth was, it’d be a different story.
I agree with all this
I am writing a thing for this right now.
Yas. Also tag me.
(Also I’m so confused because I wrote a little paragraph story on this post but I think Tumblr never reblogged it or I deleted it or something D: )
a bop is something light or something you casually enjoy. you don’t mind it/it’s cute in the moment.
a banger is something goes hard (some times unnecessarily) can invoke deep emotions. can fizzle out after some time has passed.
a jam is something that can be considered as nostalgic. it is a song that is a personal anthem, no matter what you are going through you just respond to it. it is immortal.
Sweatshirts are probably one of my favorite things in the world, like am I wearing a bra?
Probably not cause I’m a guy, but the mystery is still there, y’know?
sparksoffandommagic 