The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”
it got better
It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like
You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them
And there is literally no common sense
Anywhere to be found
Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve
Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up
The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.
But, but, but, you know the one person
the one person
who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?
Severus Snape.
Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.
‘Severus, he is my cousin.’
And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it
That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’
and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’
The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”
imagine if sirius got married and had a kid and they were arguing and the kid was like ‘are you serious?’ and he’d be so torn. what dad joke does he make?? ‘why yes i am sirius’ or ‘no im not serious, im dad’? which one? which one would he make??? i dont know
If I were to make a play called Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, I would have the story revolve around Sirius and Regulus. (…What?)
And I would have the play start off when they’re young. And maybe they’re in Knockturn Alley with Orion and Walburga. And the two wander off and they get lost. And they’re holding onto each other, nervously, as they make their way through the dark streets. They turn a corner and come face-to-face with an old witch who cackles and tells them their prophecy which is something akin to: “The Black child will be barred. So beware, my dears, and stand guard.” And they’re terrified. And the lights fade as you hear the woman’s chilling laugh.
And the play transitions to a few days later and they’re in 12 Grimmauld Place, pacing, wondering what that witch meant. They can only assume that one of them will end up in prison. And it’s at this point that the audience realizes that they’re in for the cruelest ride of their lives. So they look at each other and nervously laugh because prison? Them? Why would they go to prison?
Only there’s another transition and it’s a few years later. And Orion and Walburga are having a dinner party with a bunch of people who are talking about the “Dark Lord” and how the boys will make excellent recruits.
And they both tell each other that no matter what happens, they won’t join their parents’ friends. They won’t give into their destiny.
And of course a good chunk of the play is devoted to Sirius going off to Hogwarts and being sorted into Gryffindor and how Orion and Walburga continue to abuse him while treating Regulus with a bit more fairness.
And you see that rift grow between the brothers.
And that’s it, that’s most of the play – just their lives and how horrible they are.
And the older they get, the more fights they have, and the more Sirius accuses Regulus of being the one who is destined to be ‘barred’. And Regulus is shown having a terrible time, barely loved by his parents, ostricized by his brother for the little love that he gets, hated by his house-mates for not immediately wanting to join Voldemort, hated by the other students for being in that house, etc.
The biggest fight comes when Sirius is sixteen and Orion and Walburga try to force him to join the Death Eaters. There’s a big duel. The auditorium is shaking from the noise. The audience is blinded by the lights from the curses. And when all is said and done, Sirius is able to escape. He runs to James’ house where he collapses, embraced by the people who had always been his family.
And Sirius laments (most likely through song because I just realized that this would be a musical) about how he managed to get out, how he is the one to defy the destiny, but that this means that Reg won’t…
Sure enough, the play transitions to Regulus getting his Dark Mark.
There are even more fights and we see the war and the tension and the hate and the secret love. And we see how much Sirius still wants to protect Regulus but we also see how upset he is over his brothers’s choice, even though Regulus screams that it’s not his fault that he’s the destined one.
We have another musical number (they all are) where Regulus descends into a state of paranoia, realizing that it isn’t too late, he can still defy his destiny, he can still make things right.
We get the cave scene.
And then it quickly transitions into Sirius having a nightmare. He sits upright in the bed, center stage, screaming Regulus’ name.
You see the lights flicker on and off, slowly, and each time they come back on, Sirius looks slightly older and is wearing different clothes, showing the passage of time. But each time, he’s still saying, “Regulus…”
Until the light flickers for the last time.
And you hear: “James…”
The lights come back on and Sirius is running through the ruins of an old house. He fights with a giant before giving him his motorbike.
The climax of the play is the fight between Sirius and Peter. It ends in tragedy and Sirius is dragged off to Azkaban without trial.
The lights fade and you hear the chilling laugh of the woman from before.
End Scene.
Im literally crying Regulus and Sirius just break my heart
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