Library Mommy: library lady trope, wears an overly large sweater and has a collection of pens; doesn’t actually have kids, but sometimes a family can be one woman, two cats, and a netflix account
Mechanic Mommy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I want her to fix my car; two twin kids that run around, has three tattoos and a barbershop haircut, fixes other gadgets on the side and shows me how to hold a wrench
CEO Mommy: pencil skirt, on the phone, gotta work hard to woo her but she will take you to the pier and you’ll ruin the financial lives of several wall street bankers together, Buff™- works out to get rid of stress
Ghost Mommy: floats in and out of the game, totally dead, kind of see-through, solve her murder and you unlock some supernatural lovin’
Rockstar Mommy: plays the guitar, ripped clothing, responds in grunts, a lil’ tipsy at points in the game and will show you hergauge collection, wears sunglasses 23/7
Susan, from accounting: she’ll have to date me eventually
Monster Mommy: straight up funky monster lady of your choice, rips her shirt off at least once during the full moon, route involves getting rid of all the silver in your house; her son trades Yugioh cards
Historically, there are major four groups that have commonly been described as “adventurers”:
a. Pirates and bandits who realised that the real money lay in getting people to pay them to go pillage someone else;
b. Members of the idle rich who wandered about robbing tombs and subjugating the locals for fun rather than for profit, often distinguishable from the first group only by the presence of a “Sir” before their names;
c. People who just wanted to look at birds, but it sort of got out of hand; and
d. Lesbians.
Now, I’m not saying that this taxonomy would make a reasonable basis for a class system in a tabletop roleplaying game, but I’m not not saying it either.
D&D but your only class choices are Pirate, The Idle Rich, Birdwatcher, and Lesbian.
I want Terry Crews and Vin Diesel to do a buddy cop movie where they are both secret nerds but they don’t want the other to know. Like Vin Diesel plays D & D on weekends and Terry likes to create epic crossover fan art. Somehow they have to work undercover at Comic Con and for what ever reason I need Daniel Radcliffe to be the villain.
I’d like to add: not a character played by Dan Radcliffe. Dan Radcliffe, appearing as himself.
[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. ]]
Universal:
Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.
Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.
From upper left: “Honeytack” Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade “travel cake” muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.
Orcs aren’t known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcs….nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].
Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!
From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).
i know i’ve made a post exactly like this before but that trope of a vampire or faerie or anything “other” watching a human from afar and “choosing” them is STILL so wild and uncomfortable to me bc if you watch someone from afar like that you’re gonna form such a romantic image of them in your head that’s actually barely what they’re like 90% of the time but now what the hell are you gonna do you just turned them into a vampire/brought them over to the faerie realm for eternity you’re STUCK with them and THEY’RE stuck with your impulsive naive romantic ass like
if a vampire watched me from afar they’re gonna catch me smelling wild flowers, talking to crows, and walking barefoot through creeks but they never see me inside and now they’re stuck, listening to me complain about the Naruto epilogue again. Again. They’re so tired. “Molly Anne,” they say. “Molly Anne please. It’s been two-hundred years.” I keep going. The betrayal still feels fresh.
sparksoffandommagic 