Tag: life goals

kerolinadean:

sailor-zeplin:

kerolinadean:

I just want a rich business butch to make me her trophy wife and buy me louboutins and jewelry and take me to galas in a sexy tesla sports car and open the door for me in her sexy 3 piece suit and take my delicate hand as I arise out of the car in 6 inch louboutins and a red silk dress with a super high thigh slit and she walks me down the red carpet and into the gala honoring me for my work in my chosen profession because im her femme trophy wife but i also have advanced degrees in my field and Iā€™ve written books and shit and she proof reads for me since Iā€™m a lesbian that canā€™t spell and sheā€™s my sexy power wife that wears power suits 24/7 and intimidates our kidā€™s teachers at school for pushing heteronormative stereotypes onto our child and says something at the end of the meeting with the principal like ā€œand if I ever have to come down here for bullshit about my daughter rightfully defending herself I will make your life a living hellā€ and Iā€™m at the curb in our tesla crossover because we respect the earth and my daughter says something witty about how the public school system is classist and itā€™s time for revolution and she wants a dog for her birthday but sheā€™s only 10 and were not sure sheā€™s ready for the responsibility and commitment of raising a pet but then I realize I want the dog so we go to the pet store and get a great Dane with black and white spots and name her daisy and the dog is also a lesbian. and also me and my wife bang in the tesla sports car.

Sorry I 100% canā€™t relate. I would not buy one dog I would buy two. Itā€™s a true power move to walk two Great Danes at the same time in silk and high heels.

thatā€™s so valid and youā€™re right

Forget Coffins! This Company Will Swirl You Into Beautiful Glass Creations When You Die

cutecreepycryptids:

rocketmermaid:

knitmeapony:

Welp, this is just about all I want in death.

Like, I want to be made into a beautiful glass thing. Ā I want to be something treasured for a long time and rarely talked about. Ā I want to live in the home of someone who loved me, and touched now and then in silent memory.

I want people to forget that Iā€™m in there, I want the memory of what I am to pass out of the familyā€™s knowledge. Ā I want to be given away, and put out in a thriftstore somewhere. Ā 

I want someone to buy my ashes for $4.99 and put me in a window and love the colors. Ā I want to cast beautiful, fractious and curving sunlight across the wall, sparkling and glowing and shimmering, depending on the time of day. Ā I want someone to take a picture of me with the moon behind me, luminous and mysterious.

I want a witch to buy me and put me in her work room. Ā I want an artist to leave me on their worktable. Ā I want to inspire people and make them smile. Ā I want to be warm from sunlight or chilly from the cool air. Ā I want to be packed in newspaper carefully when they move. Ā I want to be given as a holiday or graduation present to someoneā€™s kid, I want to be given as a housewarming gift as a reminder of home.

And god, then, hopefully some day, I want to roll off the table, I want that globe to crack.

And then I want to haunt the living shit out of the future.

Holy shit, the comment made this sixty times more awesome and now I want this to be done to me too.

my great-grandchild: this is grandma orb, I donā€™t like calling her that she just put in her will that if she wasnā€™t addressed as ā€œthe orbā€ or something similar then sheā€™d be pissed

Forget Coffins! This Company Will Swirl You Into Beautiful Glass Creations When You Die

naamahdarling:

nonlinear-nonsubjective:

no i dont want to be a billionaire to live a lavish lifestyle i want to be a billionaire to be financially secure and have enough money to give people things and support charities and fund kickstarters and leave hundred dollar tips

My lavish dream lifestyle: 200% tips at IHOP and throwing struggling artists a couple hundred bucks to sketch my latest asshole OC. I buy my cats better food. I get new underwear twice a year, including a new bra. I have my jeans hemmed, and buy name-brand crackers. Nobody I know ever has to worry about a vet bill again. I quietly bankroll surgery and binders and electrolysis for every struggling trans person on Tumblr. The zoo near me builds a 300% larger reptile house and names it the Wigglesworth Von Snakeface Rept-o-Rama, and I hire a Great Dane ninja to shit on Trumpā€™s Hollywood star every day and post the picture to Facebook and Twitter. Snakes manifest in nazisā€™ houses. They are made of red-hot chains and never stop screaming. My skin is clear. I sit on my front porch and drink tea. Someone hands me a hamburger.