– everyone answering “no, i’m fred” to “are you [insert Y/N]” even hermione
– everything draco does ever
– calling blast ended skrewts “power bottoms”
– calling newt scamander bad variations of his name like nerd sandwicher etc
– colin creevey using that one picture he managed to get of hermione punching draco as a reaction image
– shouting “spank me daddy” at the whomping willow
– [pointing at random object] that’s a portkey
– every single cat is professor mcgonagall
why
– POTTER
– ever since snape’s “bottle fame, brew fortune” speech students just go on and on with it – “flambé success, bake brilliance” “Can you tutor me in charms?” “TUTOR you? I can teach you how to SAUTÉ EXCELLENCE.”
– [random object] is totally a hufflepuff
– remember that game where someone yells “SHATNER” and you have to overact? same thing except it’s “TRELAWNEY” and you have to use whatever you’re holding to make a ludicrous prediction
– a more popular variation is “LOCKHART” to make up a pompous story about using whatever you’re holding to drive the [monster] out of [town]
– calling hippogriffs “leggy birbs”
– “Our beloved headmaster Albert Dumpsterfire/Aqueous Disillusionment/Aberdeen Decapitation…”
– shitty incantations ( “The Graying Hair Charm? Make-me-bloody-ancient-osia.” )
reblogging for albert dumpsterfire xD
-the dumbledore one, except you keep adding incorrect names, like albert pensive wallace herbert richard flamingo sherbet tango luthor…
-*peeves appears* IT DAT BOI
-”i’d rather be petrified”
-”so a shack gets to scream and it’s all normal and haunted, but when i do it i’m disturbing class and a nuisance”
I’m too old to be on Hogwarts Express so I’m just sittin’ and sippin’ my butterbeer at Three Broomsticks waiting for Hagrid to show up and tell me all about the first years
You guys keep saying Sirius was the drama queen because “only one person will die tonight” but when Remus arrives to give a bit of context, he kicks the door and starts the story with him being bitten
what i love about both remus and lily is that they both seem to do this thing where it’s like “oh you’re an asshole? then you may right now immediately go fuck yourself” like when snape called lily a mudblood she was instantly like “ok you deserve whatever you get also your underpants are gross #evansout” and then when remus finds out that peter is alive he’s instantly just down to calmly fucking murder him “shall we kill him together?” like dad please
He’s lived two decades more than the age he was when he willingly died.
So he refuses to eat his birthday cake unless Ginny admits he’s 20 years old.
What do you mean I’m almost 40? No. I died at 17 and was reborn. Technically. I’m twenty. I’m practically a young boy. Don’t “Dad” me. I’m twenty years old. Ron, tell them.
I just came to a very grim realization that makes a ton of sense. (Note: This might have been realized by others as well.)
We know that in the Tale of the Three Brothers, Death’s main goal was to kill the brothers right? He was pissed because they had cheated him and he wanted to take their lives once and for all.
And so he gives the eldest brother the wand, knowing that someone would end up killing him for it. The youngest brother knows what Death is up to and takes his Invisibility Cloak, much to Death’s reluctance, so that he can hide from Death until he’s ready to face him. And the middle brother? The middle brother was given the Resurrection Stone.
And what did the stone do?
It brought back his wife (sort of) and gave the brother such a huge desire to be with her that he ended up taking his own life.
Pfft. Can you imagine? The sort-of-kind-of appearance of your dead loved one convincing you to go die.
Hahahaha…ha…yeah…
And here’s where it gets dark.
We know that Harry was willing to die for his friends because he’s a noble git whose face pops up in the dictionary next to the word: “self-sacrifice”.
The only thing he was missing was the stigmata. (In fact, I’m surprised Jo didn’t put something like that in; she wasn’t exactly subtle about it.)
Anyway, we know that Harry begins walking to the forest and though he is determined, he also begins to have second thoughts:
And then he activates the Resurrection Stone – the stone that Death intentionally used to kill the second brother.
And what happens?
Harry’s loved ones appear to him, though they look odd (and that’s important; we’ll come back to that later) and they’re totally fine with him dying and even convince him that they’re proud of him for what doing what he’s doing, that it doesn’t hurt at all, and that it’ll be quick.
So in conclusion, the four people who have gone above and beyond multiple times to protect this child are completely fine with him dying.
I mean Lily, the woman who leapt in front of her child and demanded to be killed in his place, only tells him that he’s been brave and doesn’t say anything else. The woman who repeatedly pleaded for Harry’s life supposedly stands there and just lets him go die.
Yeah, that’s in character (//sarcasm).
But of course, that’s not Lily, is it?
It’s not James.
It’s not Sirius.
It’s not Remus.
I don’t even think it was the middle brother’s wife.
I don’t think that the Resurrection Stone brings back your loved ones at all. I think it shows you whatever it can to convince you to die.
That’s why James, Lily, Remus, and Sirius were all described as looking different than how they had died. (As opposed to say Nearly Headless Nick who looked exactly how he looked when he died, semi-detached head and all). And why the wife of the brother was described as looking/acting odd as well.
They weren’t really there. They were basically magical holograms who said what they needed to say so that Harry wouldn’t have any second thoughts as he marched towards death. And Death.
Because who greets him?
That’s right, Death himself.
I mean Dumbledore.
I mean…no actually there’s been this really amazing theory going around for a while now that Dumbledore = Death and it actually makes a lot of sense.
Especially if you add my theory that Dumbledore intentionally gave Harry the Resurrection Stone so that when he was about to die, he would see magical holograms of his loved ones who would convince him that he was making the right choice, that it wouldn’t hurt, that they were proud of him, etc.
Because we know that Dumbledore wanted Harry to die. Harry was raised like a pig for slaughter. Note: He didn’t want Harry to be dead. He just wanted Harry to go through the action of dying so that Voldemort would be destroyed.
And so Dumbledore added this little detail to make sure that, well, the job would get done.
So in conclusion:
Centuries ago, Death wanted someone to die. He gave the person a stone that made an image (just an image) of his loved one, which convinced said person that he needed to die.
Centuries later, Death wanted someone to die. He gave the person a stone that made images (just images) of his loved ones, which convinced said person that he needed to die.
I’m gonna be honest at first I thought this theory made no sense bUt like read it all it actually is something to think about. holy hell..
There’s a thing: we’ve seen ghostly James and Lily before. They emerged from Voldemort’s wand during the duel in Goblet of Fire and their shades then, the echoes of their dead selves, are there to help Harry and clear a path for him.
This makes so much sense, because this resurrectio-stoned James and Lily are smiling and placid and too amenable to Harry’s plans. These are not the ghosts who gave him a way out when he would have died in that graveyard. These are not the people who leapt in front of him when he was a baby.
The faces called up by the resurrection stone are Death’s own ghostly sirens. He’s luring people to their end and they say what you need to hear to encourage you to join them. It’s tempting and it’s peaceful and it’s not frightening. You only need to step out and die.
The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”
it got better
It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like
You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them
And there is literally no common sense
Anywhere to be found
Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve
Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up
The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.
But, but, but, you know the one person
the one person
who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?
Severus Snape.
Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.
‘Severus, he is my cousin.’
And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it
That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’
and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’
The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”
so we know what happened 19 years after the battle of hogwarts, but what about 19 minutes later? who had to find all of the bodies? was it a teacher, who with every step found a body of a student they’d once yelled at for not handing the homework up on time? i want to know if it was madam pomfrey, a woman who’d dedicated her entire life to helping students. i want to know if she broke down over the body of lavender brown, because there was nothing she could do for her, for any of them. or was it a group of students? students who have already seen so much death, and even helped bring about the death of some of the death eaters? did they have to stumble across the bodies of their classmates, their friends, their little brothers and sisters? what about the gryffindor girl who literally tripped over the body of her older brother? how did she feel when she fell to the ground and his skin was still warm? and what about the parents of all the students? when did they start arriving at the school? when did they discover that the little eleven year old girl they’d sent off to school less than a year go was dead, had lasted barely five minutes before a man wearing a black hood killed her? what about the parents who had a thirteen year old boy and sent him to school with warm socks and chocolate hidden deep in his suitcase, as a surprise? what happened when they arrived and found him in the great hall, just staring off into space? what did they say when they saw that his hands were covered in the blood of his best friend, and what about when they discovered that the last words to leave his mouth were an unforgivable curse directed at the piece of scum who killed the person who meant the most to him? what about the fifteen year old slytherin girl who snuck away from the rest of her house because she didn’t want to hide, because she didn’t want to be stuck in the dungeon when she knew she could help, yet she still had to watch her best friends die? what about when she still managed to curse a few death eaters, and save some sixteen year old gryffindors who didn’t even say thank you? what about the ravenclaws who knew all of this amazing magic, who studied every day of the year, even weekends, but they still had to watch their housemates be murdered? what about the hufflepuffs who use to sneak into the kitchens at night for a snack? how did they feel when they found their favourite elf hokey, dead in the great hall? how did flitwick and slughorn comfort these students who had seen more death and violence than most people do in a lifetime? what about the slytherin students who left the dungeon, who went out into the battle, fighting everything they’d been taught from birth? what about the slytherin students who saw their mothers and fathers wearing black hoods, shooting curses at the kids they’ve been sharing a school with for years now? what about slytherin students who shot protective spells at the kids their own parents were trying to kill? what did mcgonagall say to the shaking first year who couldn’t understand why her twin brother had to die? what did she say when the girl sobbed that it should have been her? what about nineteen days later? what about the half blood who was supposed to meet up with her friends in the summer? what do they get told? do they learn of her bravery, of how even though she was only 12, she fought to the very end? and what about the pureblood ravenclaw whose parents died in the war? what about the kids who died protecting their friends from their own mothers? who do they go home to? what happened when the wounds were still fresh? what happened if they never healed? i have so many questions help
sparksoffandommagic 