chaoticjustise:

mxlfoydraco:

listen… i want to know what exactly sirius meant when he called regulus soft. the obvious answer is that he was easily manipulated by his parents, but like. soft also means emotional. was regulus arcturus black, who singlehandedly played the dark lord and left him a dramatic fuck you note, a brooding emo teenager? is this why no one saw his betrayal coming? i cherish the aloof characterization of regulus but tbh? i will die for regulus who’s an emotional mess, who’s underestimated bc he’s not hypermasculine and uses that to his advantage to get one over voldemort and go out with a spectacular bang

But what if he was like, actually soft though? Like, you touch him and your like “damn, he soft.”

emilyshpheadcannons:

iangalager:

bloodpactgirlscout:

iangalager:

a list of things remus lupin is good at:

  • finding people to purchase pot from
  • falling asleep with little or no warning, sometimes in the middle of class or conversations
  • never brushing his hair
  • smacking people in the face with his elbows when he’s excited about a story he’s telling
  • making bacon sandwiches
  • wearing mismatched socks
  • remembering in which old book he can find very obscure spells or pieces of information
  • giving head
  • making terrible puns and cackling at them even when nobody else in the entire world thinks they’re funny
  • winning arguments when he’s stoned
  • being emotionally masochistic and overdramatic inside his head but never telling anyone else about his problems
  • not holding children even when asked to pick them up
  • making lists that he throws away ten minutes later

imageimage

ur headcanon about children confused me but also gave me this mental image which is 100% canon.

I JUST SCREAMED OH MYOGGDO WHAT AN ABSOLUTELY PERFECT REMUS LUPIN YOU DREW

I love the headcanons- amazing.

hogwarts memes

parseltonquinq:

classicantics:

sleepyysalamiri:

caffeinepants:

yourjacketisnowdry:

tawghasa:

bookavid:

devilrie:

– everyone answering “no, i’m fred” to “are you [insert Y/N]” even hermione
– everything draco does ever
– calling blast ended skrewts “power bottoms”
– calling newt scamander bad variations of his name like nerd sandwicher etc
– colin creevey using that one picture he managed to get of hermione punching draco as a reaction image
– shouting “spank me daddy” at the whomping willow
– [pointing at random object] that’s a portkey
– every single cat is professor mcgonagall

why

– POTTER

– ever since snape’s “bottle fame, brew fortune” speech students just go on and on with it – “flambé success, bake brilliance” “Can you tutor me in charms?” “TUTOR you? I can teach you how to SAUTÉ EXCELLENCE.”

– [random object] is totally a hufflepuff

– remember that game where someone yells “SHATNER” and you have to overact? same thing except it’s “TRELAWNEY” and you have to use whatever you’re holding to make a ludicrous prediction

– a more popular variation is “LOCKHART” to make up a pompous story about using whatever you’re holding to drive the [monster] out of [town]

– calling hippogriffs “leggy birbs”

– “Our beloved headmaster Albert Dumpsterfire/Aqueous Disillusionment/Aberdeen Decapitation…”

– shitty incantations ( “The Graying Hair Charm? Make-me-bloody-ancient-osia.” )

reblogging for albert dumpsterfire xD

-the dumbledore one, except you keep adding incorrect names, like albert pensive wallace herbert richard flamingo sherbet tango luthor…

-*peeves appears* IT DAT BOI

-”i’d rather be petrified”

-”so a shack gets to scream and it’s all normal and haunted, but when i do it i’m disturbing class and a nuisance”

I will sell my soul for all of this in a fic

bibliophileap:

bibliophileap:

chasertiff:

erencomeoutofthebasement:

chasertiff:

chasertiff:

chamber of secrets au where fred and george steal ginny’s diary bc “haha ginny why are you keeping a diary omg its old and blank” and they just start drawing dicks in it and then the dicks fade off the paper and fred and george just look at each other and go “omg infinite dicks” so they draw dicks on it all year until the diary literally ink vomits itself to death bc tom riddle cant handle the dicks anymore and no one ever opened the chamber of secrets and fred and george destroyed the very first horcrux the end

This is my legacy

#dicksoutfortomriddle

in 124,000 notes no one has added a caption so completely wonderful and succint and beautiful and goddamn perfect ive been laughing for 15 years thank you

diary: stolen

pages: self-erasing

dicks: out

TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE IS FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE HORCRUX

seriouslyprongs:

everyone always talks about sirius and peter adopting dog and rat traits but no one talks about james?

imagine james potter slowly loosing his appetite for meat and eventually becoming a vegetarian by 6th year because stags are herbivores. or freezing up whenever bright lights turn on suddenly. or being able to smell what the neighbors three doors down are cooking from his bedroom because, “oi padfoot, you know stags have a better sense of smell than dogs?”, “wow prongs thanks for the new information that you definitely haven’t told me a hundred times already

princessamericachavez:

Today Harry James Potter is 37 years old.

He’s lived two decades more than the age he was when he willingly died.

So he refuses to eat his birthday cake unless Ginny admits he’s 20 years old.

What do you mean I’m almost 40? No. I died at 17 and was reborn. Technically. I’m twenty. I’m practically a young boy. Don’t “Dad” me. I’m twenty years old. Ron, tell them.

how about harry/draco getting back together after a breakup OR drag queen!harry (or both in the same story heeey)

dddraconis:

mate i have been trying to write this for like 2 weeks now, i’m sorry it’s not happening, but here are some vague hcs

  • i think harry hates attention too much to ever be a drag queen in like the performing sense, but i can def see him playing around with gender and queerness and drag in his own quiet but sure way
  • harry wandering bored round grimmauld place in a soft flowery dress, capped sleeves tight on his shoulders, lounging on the couch with his knees hooked over the arm and the skirt falling pretty and gauzy around his hairy legs
  • gardening in a pink slip he’s pretty sure once belonged to walburga with a flannel shirt thrown unbuttoned over the top when the sun goes down and it starts to get chilly
  • doesn’t really mind what pronouns people use, ‘he’ still feels familiar and comfortable, ‘they’ is kind of nice, one morning he comes downstairs in skinny jeans and a yellow crop top and ginny looks up and says absently, warmly, “oh, you’re such a pretty girl,” and harry thinks about it all day, warm and shy
  • can’t wear high heels, no matter how good they make his legs look, he never gets over the uneasy feeling that he might suddenly need to run
  • finds a kilt that he assumes was sirius’s, wears it quite a bit, it makes a bit of a splash when he goes out for a drink in it and the daily prophet get pictures and it promptly starts a trend
  • hot august days lying in grimmauld place’s garden with sunglasses and a too big chudley cannons t-shirt and lace underwear
  • lipstick, always slightly smeared in one corner where his hand jerks
  • luna puts winged eyeliner on him one night and he’s almost frighteningly beautiful
  • he has one photo of his grandparents, the potters, when they were young, and he likes the gold bangles all up his grandma’s arms, writes awkwardly to parvati for advice, and she takes him shopping in brick lane
  • is in a bar feeling sort of tired and sad and itchy in his own skin one night, wearing a short black dress that looks half like an oversized 80s shirt except its tight and sweet around his waist, and cheap tights and his sneakers trailing laces. when he spots the blonde head of hair his heart sort of sinks, not in the mood for smirking or, worse, one of the tense, awkward conversations they’ve tended to have after the war. only when draco saunters over and says, “well, potter,” his sneer falls away before it can even get properly going, and his eyes go dark. he says, slow and a little surprised, his drawl almost warm, considering, “you look nice.”

dajo42:

dajo42:

fred and george weasley on the top floor in hogwarts trying to get slinkies all the way down by predicting the pattern the stairs are gonna shift in

they actually figure it out, they calculate the exact pattern, and start distributing it

suddenly, students are barely ever late to classes any more and there are significantly fewer incidents of getting lost around the castle

everything goes wonderfully for a week, all the professors are baffled but pleased

until the end of the week when the true purpose for the pattern’s distribution becomes clear. schoolwide slinky race. a thousand conjured slinkies all let loose at the same time. the rustling of the swarm of springs echoes through the halls of hogwarts. the house elves refer to the dreaded Slinky Sunday for centuries

AU where Dumbledore’s Army uses the Chamber of Secrets instead of the Room of Requirement

theflufwiththefandoms:

swaggerpolaroid:

kayteaem-fic:

kayteaem-fic:

  • Ultimate security as Harry is the only one capable of opening it. 
  • Myrtle proudly spending her time acting as a guard/lookout. 
  • Later, Harry diligently teaching Ron, Hermione, and a few choice others, like Neville, how to mimic parseltongue so that they can open it too. 
  • Muggleborns experiencing vicious satisfaction that they’re using this chamber as a place of education and defense, reclaiming the very space Slytherin built to rid the school of their presence. 
  • Hermione methodically dismantling the basilisk’s corpse, covertly selling the priceless ingredients to potion masters, using the funds to continue their work – buying books and battle robes and new wands for those who can’t afford it. 
  • (Hermione saving a portion of those ingredients for her own research, straightening in triumph when she learns what basilisk venom does to horcruxes, knowing she has vials of it hidden up in her room). 
  • Harry reverently adding the Chamber of Secrets to the Marauder’s Map, proudly continuing his family’s work and reveling in the difference they’re making. 
  • These students – these kids – choosing to train in a dark, horrifying place that was never meant for them. Learning spells amongst shadows, growing stronger in inches of murky water, the smell of a decomposing corpse in their noses, memories of all that had happened here haunting them. They know this is what war is really like and it helps to push them forward.  

Updating this because people have brought up some REALLY GREAT plot-holes and I like trying to flesh out my AUs soooooooo…

  • Ginny is the one who suggests using the Chamber. Of course she is. Harry isn’t the type to think of that, but for Ginny… for Ginny the Chamber still haunts her dreams, too often, and she’s furious that a part of the castle is restricted to her – a part of her home that she wants to avoid. She suggests the Chamber, partly for the DA’s benefit, mostly for her own. 
  • Visibility is a concern – what if someone sees them going into the girl’s restroom? They think it’s a serious issue until Ron starts laughing. No one comes near that bathroom anymore, he says. Not ever. It was barely an issue while brewing a month long polyjuice potion, Ron and Harry popping in and out to add ingredients or to stir. Now though? Now that Myrtle has stepped up her game (shrieking, flooding the room if someone unwanted comes near), now that Hogwarts is infused with rumors that Harry fought a basilisk right in there, now that the nearby corridor still has a bloody, horrifying message that even the professors haven’t been able to erase*… well, students avoid the area like the plague. 
  • Even if they didn’t, the House Elves help them out. Dobby did, after all, suggest the Room of Requirement before Ginny brought up the Chamber. Who better than the workers who see but are not seen to help the DA keep watch? 
  • The castle helps too. By now it knows Harry and desperately wants to protect its students. More than once Umbridge follows a DA member, only to find the staircase moving unexpectedly, taking her in another direction entirely. Sometimes there’s even a door directly beside the lavatory – appearing out of nowhere – that students can slip inside if they feel the need… 
  • Getting out is the other concern. At first they think to bring brooms or levitate one another out… but that’s just not practical. Then, one of the Hufflepuffs asks the obvious and yet oddly illusive question: how did Salazar get out? They start a search and by the end of the day they’ve found at least four hidden exits. 
  • One exit leads out into the Forbidden Forest, a space that’s not nearly as terrifying as it once was. Harry speaks quietly to Firenze and secures the help of the centaurs for when they need safe passage late at night. One day they encounter a group of acromantulas… and Harry learns of Hagrid’s strict new rule – friends of Hagrid are never food, no matter how easy the prey. The students don’t realize it, but they’re slowly gaining allies. Those in the forest begin to take notice of the children who walk both bravely and respectfully through their trees. 
  • (And one day when they’re too tired to walk back, a familiar blue car pulls up and throws open its doors. Ron cheers like a maniac. Ginny laughs and threatens to tell their dad). 
  • Though the exists are great, it’s Hermione who realizes the Chamber’s true benefit – it lies outside of Hogwart’s apparition zone. How can it not? Godric, Helga, and Rowena didn’t know of its existence when they first made the wards. So now the DA can go with ease, they just can’t pop in from anywhere else in the castle. Which is, admittedly, perfect. Apparition lessons begin in earnest. 
  • (And during the Battle of Hogwarts, DA members take Slytherin students by the hand – those who wouldn’t, couldn’t, fight their own families. They take them down to the Chamber and tell them to apparate out. Leave while you still can. Keep safe). 
  •  Harry realizing that parseltongue is easily imitated and coming up with an actual password that has to be spoken, one linked to a spell too. It helps that the snakes around the entrance are semi-sentient and are loyal to their new master. They know who’s meant to go down there and who’s not. 
  • Neville joking one day that they should be learning how to use swords, considering that’s how the original battle down here was won. Harry takes it seriously. Not the swords bit, but using physical/muggle fighting techniques on wizards who are too reliant on their magic. They begin reading up on hand-to-hand combat and knives. 
  • Harry needing to test their progress and getting a really stupid idea… but honestly, those often work out in his favor. So one sunny, Saturday morning – when everyone else is lounging outside – Harry sneaks the DA into the third floor corridor. Fluffy is gone, as is the mirror, but the rest remains, no doubt left in case Dumbledore ever had to guard something else precious. Hermione, Ron, and Harry spend the day supervising, teaching their peers how to react under pressure, think through situations, and rely on one another’s skills. 
  • And then one day things get weird (because they always do with Harry) when he realizes that the miniature chamber the basilisk was kept in is the only part of their hideout they’d yet to explore. See, given their rarity, it’s unsurprising that wizardkind knows so little about basilisks – not that they reproduce asexually or that only a parseltongue can hatch the egg. So when Harry crawls into the chamber, and finds a strange egg-like object nestled there, that begins pulsing a soft green color in his presence, and when he basically says, “What the hell…?” out loud, and when it comes out in parseltongue because he is surrounded by snake things…well, let’s just say a few minutes later Harry crawls back out, very sheepish, a baby basilisk cooing around his neck. He laughs pretty shakily and mutters something about finding their mascot. 
  • (And they name the beast – because of course they do – and Hermione invents a soft device to cover its eyes and feeding it is an absolute horror… but they do grow to love their ‘mascot.’ And during the Battle – when Harry is off in the forest and Hogwarts is losing badly – no one is more surprised than the Death Eaters when Ron and Hermione come tearing out of the school riding a goddamn fully grown basilisk. Hermione rips off the cover on its eyes and sets to work). 

* “In the book, it says that Filch could not get the messages written by Ginny off of the wall. It is unknown if he ever did, and it has not been mentioned since.”

Fucking love this

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