hitman – sparksoffandommagic

haiku-robot:

jumpingjacktrash:

orestian:

raptorific:

action movie about a guy who pretends to be a hitman and does the whole “25% up front and the rest when the job is done” thing but then just keeps the down payment, doesn’t kill anybody, and stops responding to the client’s calls, knowing that they can’t sue him for breach of contract without confessing to trying to hire a hitman. problem is now a lot of people who are comfortable with the concept of paying someone to kill someone else are mad at him

none of his former clients know his real identity, due to him using a fresh fake for each con, so he decides that his only hope of making it out of this mess unscathed is to land the inevitable contract for his own assassination and fake his own death. thus begins his deadly race against the clock and against other actual bounty hunters, former clients, and a smoldering ex lover, whom he must betray, persuade or kill. darknet: the catfish bounty

it has to be a comedy

because competent badguys won’t use someone who hasn’t been vouched for and/or got a good reputation, the former clients our pretend hitman is avoiding are all meatballs

dangerous meatballs but meatballs nonetheless

like those thieves in ‘snatch’ who have a dog that swallowed a squeaky toy, that kind of criminals

or like jamie lee curtis in fish called wanda

in fact i think there definitely has to be a dog involved

in fact i think there
definitely has to
be a dog involved

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