In CoS when they try to sneak into Myrtle’s bathroom to ask her about her death, McGonagall catches them and Harry makes up the excuse that they wanted to see Hermione in the hospital wing and Minnie doesn’t give them detention and then comes this and since we all know Harry’s dumbest excuse, here’s the official suggestion to rate all of Harry’s excuses on a scale from
mate i have been trying to write this for like 2 weeks now, i’m sorry it’s not happening, but here are some vague hcs
i think harry hates attention too much to ever be a drag queen in like the performing sense, but i can def see him playing around with gender and queerness and drag in his own quiet but sure way
harry wandering bored round grimmauld place in a soft flowery dress, capped sleeves tight on his shoulders, lounging on the couch with his knees hooked over the arm and the skirt falling pretty and gauzy around his hairy legs
gardening in a pink slip he’s pretty sure once belonged to walburga with a flannel shirt thrown unbuttoned over the top when the sun goes down and it starts to get chilly
doesn’t really mind what pronouns people use, ‘he’ still feels familiar and comfortable, ‘they’ is kind of nice, one morning he comes downstairs in skinny jeans and a yellow crop top and ginny looks up and says absently, warmly, “oh, you’re such a pretty girl,” and harry thinks about it all day, warm and shy
can’t wear high heels, no matter how good they make his legs look, he never gets over the uneasy feeling that he might suddenly need to run
finds a kilt that he assumes was sirius’s, wears it quite a bit, it makes a bit of a splash when he goes out for a drink in it and the daily prophet get pictures and it promptly starts a trend
hot august days lying in grimmauld place’s garden with sunglasses and a too big chudley cannons t-shirt and lace underwear
lipstick, always slightly smeared in one corner where his hand jerks
luna puts winged eyeliner on him one night and he’s almost frighteningly beautiful
he has one photo of his grandparents, the potters, when they were young, and he likes the gold bangles all up his grandma’s arms, writes awkwardly to parvati for advice, and she takes him shopping in brick lane
is in a bar feeling sort of tired and sad and itchy in his own skin one night, wearing a short black dress that looks half like an oversized 80s shirt except its tight and sweet around his waist, and cheap tights and his sneakers trailing laces. when he spots the blonde head of hair his heart sort of sinks, not in the mood for smirking or, worse, one of the tense, awkward conversations they’ve tended to have after the war. only when draco saunters over and says, “well, potter,” his sneer falls away before it can even get properly going, and his eyes go dark. he says, slow and a little surprised, his drawl almost warm, considering, “you look nice.”
at eleven, was described by his teachers as ‘bright’
at the same age, according to the Sorting Hat: “Not a bad mind, either. There’s talent, oh my goodness, yes” and “You could be great, you know, it’s all here in your head”
mastered the challenging Patronus Charm at thirteen and proceeded to teach it at fifteen
resisted the Imperius Curse at fourteen and soon learned to throw it off completely, even when cast by the incredibly powerful Voldemort
also at fourteen, learned to cast a powerful Accio Charm
at fifteen, was training other students
at the same age, under extreme stress, tested as ‘exceeds expectations’ or ‘outstanding’ in every subject that required actual magic (including the dreaded Potions)
same age, cast a briefly effective Cruciatus Curse
at sixteen, became a star Potions student simply by following superior instructions
at seventeen, successfully cast the Imperius Curse on his first try, and used it repeatedly
at the same age, cast a successful Cruciatus Curse
I also blame the movies for giving Hermione all of the answers while stripping Harry of his resourcefulness, determination, and initiative, and Ron of his street smarts and strategic thinking.
And the poor kid even says this stuff about himself all the time. He thinks he’s not very smart and that he’s just lucky and his friends and teachers are mostly the reason that he’s stayed alive and like instead of recognizing that that is a horrible (and false) self image that has been drilled into him by his abusers, fans are just like ‘yep all true’
when ppl stand around in the fireplace instead of immediately moving out of the way
running late but not being allowed to apparate bc several hundred times people miss their mark and land right in the middle of a class
being near that one person that smells v strongly like the magic equivalent of weed
when ppl bring their kids and they fuck shit up have accidental magic
muggleborns taking ge muggle studies and wanting to fight the outdated instructor
so many oral exams good god
you mourn the fact that time turners were destroyed while you’re trying to finish an essay 10 minutes before class
buying your own potions ingredients?? $ y $ i $ k $ e $ s $
trying to find books for research but they’re always floating around and incorrectly reshelving themselves
accio was banned in the library but everyone uses it anyway
ppl just have to practice constant vigilance to avoid the books flying to the spellcaster
the magic fucks w the phone signal and wifi
half the teachers dont accept typed work
getting lost on campus but the maps keep telling you different things
trying to have a snack but the chocolate frog gets away
accidentally bringing weasley’s wizard wheezes as a snack
comes to class 15 minutes late with pumpkin frappuccino
imagine the magical uni classes tho
spell weaving majors which is like astrophysics or smth
the magical equations which have a thousand rules that don’t even apply half the time and the you can tell a spell-weave major because they tend to avoid using magic out of complete frustration of anything to do with spells. they will legit walk an hour instead of apparate after that one class of Discovering Magical Transportation that ruins it for everyone
wandless magic majors are stereotyped as the hippies of the uni
most of them believe in connecting to their magical/spiritual side to fully embrace the naturalness of magic without trying to structure it with spells and wands. this also includes a lot of weed. (spell-weave majors HATE them)
ritual majors, one of the most dangerous. think chemistry on crack
one wrong rune in a ritual and you’re stuck forever with hawk eyes instead of correcting eyesight, or with transparent skin (and wasn’t that kid a sight to behold), one dude got stuck in a alternative dimension for a month. to take rituals you have to first have a bachelor of runes AND a strong understanding of magical theory and crafting. the brainiacs of the school and also tend to maniacs. (everyone knows of the illegal shit they do but they’re all too smart not to get away with it)
astronomy majors are seen as drop-outs in the making
supposedly the “easy” major these kids have to stay up all night every night and spend the rest of the time begging their spell-craft friends to make them accurate magical glasses that allow them to see the stars in the day or through the clouds. (muggleborns already have that shit sorted with the internet and always excel in this study). astronomy majors are also acknowledged to hold the wildest parties because they can stay up all night. but the position of the caster in terms of the universe effects the magic and they have to work closely with the ritual majors too. don’t underestimate them.
magic-crafting majors infuse objects with magic and invent shit
the craziest, wackiest thinkers. wayyyyy outside the box thinking. crazy shit goes down. and half the time they try and one up each other by making useless but random inventions. the professors pretend to be sick of them all but secretly love the madness.
potion majors are badasses (if only because they survived snape)
people are carful how to talk to them because these guys will respond to anything with “was that a dare? bECAUSE I WILL DO IT!!!! watch me bitch. try and challenge me again *rolls up sleeves*” also could be utter pricks that snape favoured and got to uni to realise they don’t know shit. but a lot of the people to take potion classes want to become healers.
healing majors are kind but will have no bullshit
you think you can call your healer friend to deal with the fall out of an experiment gone wrong? a duel that broke out? you’ll be thinking twice on calling on them even to save your life because sure they’ll heal you but the Lecture™ of your Life. no exaggeration. the Mum Friend™.
magical art majors are literally the same as any muggle art major
nuff said
history majors tend to move into runes, rituals and ancient magic studies
because DEAR MERLIN DID YOU SEE THE SHIT MORGAN LE FAY COULD DO??? and damn if you could sit in history class learning about the epicness of egyption curses, the mystery of avalon’s weather magic, the ward magic sewn together by the founders and then not even attempt to learn how to do it. most people double major history with an ancient magic subject.
ancient magic is filled with enthusiastic first years and dead eye seniors
like yes. awesome magic. it’s epic. its exciting. you also have to prepare for months to cast anything because it’s all about group casting and no one can cooperate for shit. the group projects man. the death of all ancient magic students.
magizoologist majors are the class clowns
and if you think crazy ass creatures aren’t released for the lols every week you would be wrong. too many hagrids man. wayyyy too many.
I’m rereading prisoner of azkaban and fully appreciating how wild it is that of all the people ron could have made friends with, it’s the guy whose parents were murdered by his pet rat.
sparksoffandommagic 