-An angel who is so goddamn lazy that he makes a deal with the demon he’s supposed to be thwarting so that neither of them have to do any work and he has more time to spend running his bookshop, and who wants to stop the Apocalypse because he loves sushi
-A demon who pretends to be suave and cool but who really just geeks out over his car and loves James Bond and listens to nothing but Queen and thinks gluing coins to the sidewalk is proper demonic activity
-This angel and demon are probably not gay for each other but I mean they’re holding hands on the cover art.
-This angel and demon try to stop the apocalypse but they fuck up so badly that they do literally nothing useful the whole book and somehow it’s still all about them.
-Technically it was the Satanic Nuns who fucked up, but we don’t really talk about that.
-Death (the horseperson) playing a trivia videogame in a diner.
-The four extra horsepersons that were never mentioned in Revelation.
-The antichrist who almost destroys the world because he wants to save the whales
-The only piece of fiction I have ever seen besides Supernatural that somehow manages to include both the Christian apocalypse and space aliens.
-The context of the phrase “gayer than a tree full of monkeys high on nitrous oxide.”
And I beheld, and lo, a black horse; and he that sat on him had a bread-knife in his hand. And I heard a voice say, This is under-proved, and that is over-baked; and see that thou blend thy flavors wisely.
And I looked, and behold, a pale horse: and her name that sat on him was Judgement, and Dismissal followed with her. And power was given unto her over the earth, to bake, and to taste, and to examine, and to diplomatically criticize.
And I saw under the judging table the souls of them that baked: and they cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, O Lord, dost thou not judge and avenge the sweat of our brow on them that write the technical challenges?
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