Shit I’ve Heard High Schoolers Say

writtenrain:

  • Why stop at capitalism? Destroy everything.
  • Guys it’s been three weeks since I’ve eaten a vegetable
  • At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence
  • An AP student: Oh my god I thought seven was less than six 

  • (while filling the cap of their water bottle with water) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS 

  • friend one: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou-
    friend two: probably

  • I’M GONNA GO HOME AND DRINK A WHOLE GLASS OF WEED
  • If cows ruled the world would they drink human milk?
  • student: my calculator is broken
    teacher: your calculator isn’t broken, you’re broken

  • no actually I think you have to be of age to be considered a cougar
  • (during math class on the second floor) student 1: so like how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?  
    student 2: enough

  • teacher: has anyone ever been to New Orleans?
    Student: does Popeyes count?

  • my word count on this paper isn’t very high but I certainly am
  • we’re in adult limbo. I’m not a teen and I’m not an adult. I’M SUFFERING, THAT’S WHAT I AM!
  • Look at my… (swings leg up to show shorts) not pants

zkac:

hotnerdvevo:

mellowcreap:

nightmareperiwinkle:

missmeanest:

agirlneedsgoals:

tiggermyk:

wideislandblues:

chirpadee:

zkac:

don’t try to tell me otter facts i already know all of them. yes i know otters hold hands. yes i know they keep special rocks. yes i know they use their bellies as tiny tables. i know it all

Oh I hear you Sea otters get all the love and get all their facts spilled all the time. 

But do you know about otters big asshole brother? In South America there are Giant Otters. These are six foot long tubes of muscle who give less fucks then a honey badger. They are Apex predators and very, very good hunters.

 They are known for stealing food from gators. They eat small caiman and friggin anaconda if they venture too close because why the hell not. They also eat Piranha because they fear nothing and consume the weak. They are attracted to watermelon (there are stories of them stealing them out of gardens) Which is weird as heck because they apparently hate the taste. 

Best part. They hunt in packs. These guys are bamf.

No Fucks given

Fight me bro

Giant fucking otters

RODENTS OF UNUSUAL SIZE

I first heard about giant otters in a Kresley Cole book (paranormal romance), and I thought they were interesting so I looked them up and was ASTOUNDED that they were real.  Like, not just “used to be” like dinosaurs, but “currently living” real.

You wasted an opportunity to show the faces they make when they eat watermelon. They obv hate it, they CRY and GRIMACE, and yet they keep eating. Let me fix your mistake for you.

I wanna know what drives them to eat something they find so unappealing. What do watermelons have that they crave??

Iron.

@snowdinskeleton

that mineral.

this is officially the worst post… and i am the creator