why is broccoli seen as this universally hated vegetable. broccoli is delicious
bc suburban families all over the world literally just steam/microwave their vegetables and serve them plain to their kids. No wonder kids hate vegetables. They’re taught that veggies are supposed to taste bad. but imagine: veggies with spices. Veggies in curry. veggies that are broiled, soaked, sautéed. aghhhh veggies are so good
Veggies of color (VOC)
People post good veggie recipes!!! Go!
i’m a vegan/vegetarian chef and yeah people generally don’t… season or… actually think about their vegetables at all? like if you treat your meal like “MEAT + unfortunate side dish i don’t want to eat + dessert” no fucking wonder you’re going to be unhappy with your results?? literally everyone should know how to cook vegetables WELL, because they can be fucking DELICIOUS?
it’s not surprising to me that most people don’t actually… KNOW how to cook vegetables, which is really, really sad. so imma help y’all out.
– grill your fucking vegetables? if you have a grill, or even a little dinky george foreman–grill those bitches. brush them with olive oil–or a mix of olive oil and balsalmic vinegar if you’re fancy, grill, salt, pepper, fresh herbs if you want, BAM. delicious. if you don’t, roasting is your next best option. you can also (if you have a gas stove and are ambitious) “grill” on the stove top. many a time i’ve stuck a sweet pepper on the stove and lit that bitch up!
– braise those bitches??? good for leafy greens and vegetables like turnips and radishes. finely chop some garlic, onion, or scallion (or all three if you’re bold) and sautee them in a little oil. once they’re almost cooked, add your veg. keep it moving, don’t let anything burn, and add a capful of white wine, or cooking wine. DELICIOUS.
– FRESH. HERBS. ARE. YOUR. FRIENDS? if you cannot get fresh (admittedly, i live on a farm, so i’m never short on things like dill, parsley, thyme, scallion, or cilantro) but they’re amazing on fresh veggies. sauteed in them in a pan? add some herbs. roasted them in the oven? add some herbs (and brown sugar if you want a savory sweet vibe)
– roast them in the oven if you don’t have time (or spoons) to stand up next to a hot ass stove for 5-20 minutes! vegetables that are good for roasting are typically ones that take a long time to cook, eggplants, potatoes, carrots, pumpkin, etc. of course, you can roast any veggie you like!
– MARINATE THOSE BITCHES??? literally you can make delicious marinades out of items most of you already have in your homes: honey/brown sugar, salt, soy sauce, sesame oil, etc.
– FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK STOP ADDING EVERYTHING TO THE PAN AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME. time out your veggies when sauteeing them for anything. if you’re doing a bunch of different ones, add the veggies to the pan first that take the longest. Making stir fry? put those motherfucking carrots in first, because they take FOREVER. onions, carrots, potatoes? put those in first. corn, broccoli, sweet pepper, zucchini? closer to the end, my dude, because they cook FAST.
– ginger and scallion go excellently in stir fry btw. if when you make your stir fry it tastes like it’s “missing something”, that’s what you’re missing. add that shit.
– you do NOT FUCKING NEED CHICKEN/BEEF STOCK FOR YOUR GODDAMN SOUP IF IT DOESN’T HAVE MEAT IN IT! sautee your veggies first, and you can use either powdered or canned coconut milk as the body. it makes for deliciously creamy soup. don’t worry about the coconut taste–it’s pretty much gone by the time your soup/stew is done cooking. coconut milk (especially powdered, and soy milk works for this too, no vanilla flavoring obviously) makes an excellent base for sauces for veggies, even if you eat meat!
lastly, give it the ol’ ratatouille. smell your herbs and spices together. if they seem like they go well, odds are, they’ll taste bangin’ once you combine them. experiment. everything you make will not be good, but you’ll get more comfortable cooking. i’ve been a chef for like two years and i burned some bread today, so it’s okay. you’ll make mistakes. that’s how you learn. don’t be afraid to cut or burn yourself–the more afraid you are, the more likely it is to happen.
you’re welcome, signed your local angry vegetarian chef who wants people to eat more vegetables
Could someone transport this psa 15 years ago @ my parents
I just found out in It*ly there’s this cheese where ppl let it sit out for flies to lay eggs in and the ppl eat it with the maggots inside to give it flavor. And let me tell you. I am not having a good day bc of it
it’s called casu marzu. they take pecorino cheese and let it rot long enough (3-4 months) for flies to infest it, lay their eggs, and the eggs hatch inside it. and it looks like this:
apparently the maggots eat the cheese as it rots and then shit it out to give it its signature… flavour. it’s eaten while the maggots are still alive so ppl eating it are warned to make sure they chew and kill any and all maggots they consume so that no live ones make it to their stomach, as well as not to make any sudden movements as the maggots can LEAP when disturbed and attach to their eyes. i am disgusted and my skin is crawling as i type this
I liked it better when white people didn’t have culture
It’s called Casu marzu and it’s a Sardinian sheep milk cheese. And the maggots can launch themselves up to 15 cm (6 in) in distance.
🤢🤢🤢🤢😷😷😷😷😰😰😰😨😨😨😨
Why
This what happens when you let white people make up their own seasoning
Wait what
I know this is going to just get me in trouble, but come on.
I think we all know that all races and cultures have some gross food.
Mexico has escamoles, the larvae of a venomous ant species. China has the century egg. The Phillipenes have Balut, the boiled egg containing a fertilized duck embryo. Even fileting fish down to the heart, while managing to keep it alive.
We were gross and barbaric and didn’t know anything about food safety, way back when. When we continue to do it, it’s for one of two reasons- the people doing it have no choice, and the move is practical, or people consider it part of their cultural identity and want to connect to that.
But bottom line, let’s not pretend that any culture isn’t guilty of this weird ass shit.
I mean.
Cheese itself?
“I’m going to let this milk ferment using particular cultures, bound together with this funky enzyme which in previous centuries could only be harvested from the stomachs of freshly slaughtered young calves etc. and keep it in some cave somewhere for 18+ months to mature. Tell your friends.”
I want to see who came up with THAT pitch if you know what I mean.
There’s variations on cheeses that involve the skulls or brains of animals. And ones that still have visible mold on them. Like…what kind of Hannibal-level culinary edgelord came up with some of that shit?
Like…broccoli? Who pitched that one? “Nah, Bro, don’t eat the leaves eat the buds of the flowers before they actually turn into flowers.” Whaaaaaaat?
Or aged steak? (Which also involves letting the outside layer of the meat rot for “flavor”.) Who sat down and was like “nah, we can’t let this meat go to waste this is prime stuff. Just kind of…cut around the bad bits? See what you can salvage?” Because that sounds like some camping dad somewhere for sure.
Or what ditch-drinking desperate peasant created tea because THIS puddle was tastier than the next one? (And there’s fermented teas too because of course. Just think of all the still-living organisms you’re swigging down the next time you down a kombucha.)
Or bread. Freaking bread my dude. Who even.
There are always going to be people who eat and drink things you find unthinkable.
But sure. “Bugs are bad!” says a person potentially down to pay twenty bucks for a lobster, which eats literal poop to survive and was probably cooked alive for flavor.
Maybe maggots are a stretch but seriously, a lot of bugs are fine in a lot of different cultures.
They’re decent protein, I mean, if you aren’t raised in some first world country that consumes several animals each week on a regular basis and thinks that’s normal.
Grasshoppers are kosher, I mean. I know that much off the top of my head, and they’re bound to be bigger and crunchier than a maggot.
…although that is not a speculative sentence I ever thought I’d write in my life and I might really hope nobody calls me out on my childhood there.
But get rid of a pest eating your lettuces and also acquire protein? I call that a win.
And. I mean. Off the top of my head there’s even a Vietnamese dish somewhere that involves covering your food in live fire ants, so if we’re talking seasoning that probably packs a pretty decent punch. (Edit: possibly it’s Thai. I went to look it up after a moment of self doubt about the sources of my trivia. Either way. Omnomnom.)
But I guarantee you whatever culture you belong to, you’re bound to have some weird shit in the regional dishes if you scope back far enough. We all just tend to think whatever we grew up eating is normal.
Like. The English made fun of the Scots for eating oats once, I mean. That was horse food. “Everyone” knew that.
We used to throw out Portobello Mushrooms because they were useless.
There’s coffee out there that’s supposed to be made better by getting pooped out by a mammal someplace.
We eat octopi and those are supposed to have the intelligence level of a two year old.
This is NOT the weirdest or most problematic thing I’ve ever seen when it comes to food.
Like…I’d be tempted to bake the thing like a Brie first, because I’m not big on eating things alive that can feel it, but if I ever got the opportunity to try it, I’d let you know if it’s worth it?
The base cheese on its own sure isn’t bad. Romano, I mean? It’s a bit like a Parmesan. It’s probably sharp enough to hide a vast multitude of palate sins and rot processes like that tend to make really tangy cheeses?
Plus assuming you’re actually eating this in Italy, at the absolute least there’s bound to be a ton of really great wine to wash the taste out if it turns out not to be your thing. Or fancy sparkling waters or whatever if you don’t get off on aging your grapes.
Maggots are good protein source though.
Tbh many “disgusting” food were discovered because ppl found food you’re not supposed to eat but decided to give it a try either because they are starving or they’re bored XD
I’m gonna recreate Michelangelo’s famous and notable masterpiece, David, in Oreo cream. It has been decided.
I will surpass the mediums of the old masters to depict even the most beautiful of forms within this sugary pile. Bear witness to my enlightenment.
I have to say, the hardest part of doing this is resisting to lick my fingers. Oreo filling is a cruel and tempting mistress, but I shall not be swayed.
Slowly, my boy comes to fruition.
Who is ready to see my creation
He is coming…..
He is here.
The comparison is uncanny.
May the gods smile upon me this night for my endeavors.
Thank you, all of you, who have accompanied me on this artistic and soul-wrenching journey of manifestation. Your kind words and uplifting support keep me going when all seems lost in the murky white depths of Oreo Cream.
However, as life is willfully given, it must also be taken so that the cycle begins anew. I have left the dubious fate of my creation in the hands of my roommate, where they will deal his judgement.
i want to make these just so i can set them around my house, invite people over, and grab a fuckin plant off the mantelpiece apropos of nothing and dig in, reveling in my friends’ looks of abject horror
[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. ]]
Universal:
Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.
Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.
From upper left: “Honeytack” Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade “travel cake” muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.
Orcs aren’t known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcs….nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].
Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!
From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).
always chill your cookie dough if you want still chewy/soft cookies after a few days (or if you’re shipping them).
keep’s the bastards from spreading out too quickly in the oven and therefor keeps them nice and soft in the middle while keeping them from suffering from that underdone soggy thing that some times happens.
This site is super informative, and it’s actually one of the sites I consulted when I was concocting the Fuck It Brownies recipe – just tons of good info.
That said…the person doing the testing/eating often has a very specific kind of outcome they want, and it is almost never the outcome I want, which I find kind of hilarious. It’s very much a sense of “thank you for testing and rejecting several recipes, I will take reject #2 because we want drastically different things out of a muffin.”
sparksoffandommagic 