regular size dogs, the standard by which all variant dogs are compared to, the vanilla dog, are dogs. they often produce slimes and cause ruckus. i actually find dogs in general harder to get close to than cats? dogs are weird men who cant read and crawl on the ground. dirty boys who can be troublesome. they are utilitarian animals who like to help and be good though and are very admirable in nature. they come in lots of fun customizations and you can add cosmetic items to your dog for flavor, or go au naturel. i have great respect for these fucked up men of the dirt as should all people
small dogs are a point of much contention as they are often heinously fucked on a biological level. ive never been all that affectionate towards them because in my mind one of the best parts of dogs is their bigness, however, when i spend some time with a small dog i usually wind up thinking “okay i understand why people like these so much.” some good points of small dogs is that theyre very portable and, in general, small. theyre very dumb and rowdy like all dogs but with a smallness twist and often i think that they are gremlins or perhaps a small demon like a imp. they are naughty men but they certainly have a purpose
bighuge dogs are a very special type of dog indeed. they are so so so so huge and large and big. i respect strongness and hugeness very much on a personal moral level. there are a few downsides to a dog so huge, they are a great and sacred responsibility. if this big huge man wants to cause trouble and mischief you may not be able to stop them because they are, and i cannot overstate this, so much a big boy. but their legs are so mighty and their form is so Good. this is a dog for the dedicated but in my opinion very worth it. you must earn this good dog
***BONUS*** longdogs, these strange long men are most certainly fae in nature, we all know this. they function in mysteries and riddles. this dog is built for speed and dexterity and is a good template for those who want to go the spellcaster route. ive heard tales from people who say that theyve lived in areas where most people have retired racing greyhounds and that there were just insanely fucked up jacked just totally diesel greyhounds all over the place and i think that would be scary as hell. this is a dog whose power youve got to acknowledge
in conlusion: i started typing this and just didnt stop. i cant explain my poetry often. dogs are dirty rowdy lads and id like to gain a deeper understanding of them. we have to do right by them because theyre very important and they trust us. thank you
one of my friends is a very pregnant dog and like 3 times a day i say to her “hello! you are full of several other smaller dogs!” and she wags her entire body at me like “it’s true!!! i contain multitudes”
i love that ur friend is the pregnant dog. what a nice friend to have.
ya she’s my buddy i love her!
update: there were five (5) smaller dogs inside my dog friend, but now they are all outside of her instead (!!)
this husky is mad because he wants to take a bath but isn’t allowed to
let my poor baby take his bath
If y’all really knew. If y’all really knew what utter drama queens huskies are this wouldn’t surprise you at all.
This is my life.
Literally my husky is the same way. He’s only a few months and he’ll cry to go back outside after being in the house two seconds.
I once ran out of my house in my pajamas at 2 in the fucking morning because I heard a dog screaming like it had been hit by a car. As I’m pelting towards the road barefoot I see an open garage with two people standing there and a husky in the back of a truck. I slowed down and asked them if that noise had been their dog.
Heavily embarrassed they admitted that it was. The reason for the godawful tortured sound the dog had made?
“We took his running harness off.”
And that was the moment I vowed to never own a husky.
I frequently pet sit for a friend’s husky, who is completely normal and unremarkable for her kind with one crucial exception.
She is dumb as soup.
(You didn’t hear that from me: her owner thinks she’s a genius, bless him.)
Anyway, my dog Tribble thinks Arya the husky is one of her very own adopted babies, so she stays with us fairly often. Reasons I have heard this dog dissolve into a screaming, wailing meltdown include:
I followed my buddy up a mildly steep hill and now she’s gone and I can’t figure out how to get down
That one cat won’t be friends with me even though all the others will
I hopped up on the sofa and the hardwood floor next to it is much more confusing than the laminate I have lived on since I was two months old and I don’t know how to get down
I’m mildly bored and my buddy yelled at me when I tried to bite her neck for the zillionth time
I want to play with that potted plant but you said I couldn’t
I’m overcome with joy because you took me on a walk to the hardware store
I want that biscuit but I forgot what sit means and now I’m frustrated
I haven’t seen you in two weeks and I forgot you weren’t dead and I’m overjoyed
You are not petting me enough
You are not petting me at all
I got lost four times in five minutes on the off leash trail and now you won’t let me off again for a while
There’s a brush and I need it
You made eye contact with me and didn’t immediately drop everything to pet me
She’s a very good dog, and she’s a sweet dog who is never offended by anything, but the screaming has singlehandedly ensued I will never, ever, ever own a husky. I like having functioning ears too much.
To be fair, you and your friend may both be right: huskies, like border-collies, are just intelligent enough to develop Exciting Cognitive Neuroses, much like a toddler, which frankly dumber dogs will skip because they don’t actually have quite enough extra cognitive space to think up ways to be utterly fucking ridiculous.
I kind of suspect this is going on here in part because of the dog being so very specifically upset that the one cat won’t be friends, despite all the other cats being friends, and also the overcome-with-joy bits: you’ll notice they’re very similar to what makes toddlers randomly cry for no reason.
Where a bulldog doesn’t care about the difference between laminate and hardwood, a husky is just smart enough to get VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW THESE ARE SUBTLY DIFFERENT AND POSSIBLY IT MEANS THAT GETTING DOWN WILL BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE AAAAAUGH! and get hysterically anxious about it.
“Smarter”, in animals as in humans, does not actually always mean “more sensible.” XD
Pryss is such a sweetheart. She’s an eight-year-old silken windhound owned by Joyce Chin. As demonstrated, she adores cuddles on the couch and will get zoomies if you say “pwiss” repetitively.
sparksoffandommagic 