regular size dogs, the standard by which all variant dogs are compared to, the vanilla dog, are dogs. they often produce slimes and cause ruckus. i actually find dogs in general harder to get close to than cats? dogs are weird men who cant read and crawl on the ground. dirty boys who can be troublesome. they are utilitarian animals who like to help and be good though and are very admirable in nature. they come in lots of fun customizations and you can add cosmetic items to your dog for flavor, or go au naturel. i have great respect for these fucked up men of the dirt as should all people
small dogs are a point of much contention as they are often heinously fucked on a biological level. ive never been all that affectionate towards them because in my mind one of the best parts of dogs is their bigness, however, when i spend some time with a small dog i usually wind up thinking “okay i understand why people like these so much.” some good points of small dogs is that theyre very portable and, in general, small. theyre very dumb and rowdy like all dogs but with a smallness twist and often i think that they are gremlins or perhaps a small demon like a imp. they are naughty men but they certainly have a purpose
bighuge dogs are a very special type of dog indeed. they are so so so so huge and large and big. i respect strongness and hugeness very much on a personal moral level. there are a few downsides to a dog so huge, they are a great and sacred responsibility. if this big huge man wants to cause trouble and mischief you may not be able to stop them because they are, and i cannot overstate this, so much a big boy. but their legs are so mighty and their form is so Good. this is a dog for the dedicated but in my opinion very worth it. you must earn this good dog
***BONUS*** longdogs, these strange long men are most certainly fae in nature, we all know this. they function in mysteries and riddles. this dog is built for speed and dexterity and is a good template for those who want to go the spellcaster route. ive heard tales from people who say that theyve lived in areas where most people have retired racing greyhounds and that there were just insanely fucked up jacked just totally diesel greyhounds all over the place and i think that would be scary as hell. this is a dog whose power youve got to acknowledge
in conlusion: i started typing this and just didnt stop. i cant explain my poetry often. dogs are dirty rowdy lads and id like to gain a deeper understanding of them. we have to do right by them because theyre very important and they trust us. thank you
coming this fall………. a new YA novel series about one girl……… in a post-apocalyptic dystopian setting…………….. who is different. unique. and can use her specialness….. To Save Us All
jordan…… the cunning, cool, gruff rebel leader……………… born outside the Dystopia… a Freedom Fighter…… with a heart of gold……………
For some reason, when biologists want to describe “the assemblage of morphological features shared among many members of a phylum-level group” we say bauplan. Which is German for “body plan.” But even if you don’t speak German you say “bauplan” anyway. So this is a very hilarious Social Media Discourse from someone who has forgotten that the word “bauplan” is an instant giveaway that you are actually a biologist and that makes it fantastic it’s like when robots try to pretend that they’re human but better
As funny as this is, as someone who has met a European badger, all I can say is at least the American one has the decency not to hide the fact that it will tear your kidneys out via your toes if you so much as look at it funny.
why do jellyfish only sting when theres physical contact
why doesnt the electricity just surge throughout the entire ocean
why dont jellyfish rule the world
Fun fact! Jellyfish don’t use electricity to sting you. Whenever they feel pressure against their tentacles, it causes its cells to rapidly send out these stingers into your skin that then release its venom. Like this:
They are called nematocysts. They are what make box jellies and other fun lil critters so dangerous, because without these wee little daggers, the venom would have no way to get into your skin.
And yet something as thin as nylon stockings or pantyhose is enough to protect you, they are so small.
So if you’re scared of jellyfish? Wear sexy sheer undergarments into the sea like the regal creature you are.
I’m going to reblog this again because that is some of the best advice I have ever gotten on this blog.
this husky is mad because he wants to take a bath but isn’t allowed to
let my poor baby take his bath
If y’all really knew. If y’all really knew what utter drama queens huskies are this wouldn’t surprise you at all.
This is my life.
Literally my husky is the same way. He’s only a few months and he’ll cry to go back outside after being in the house two seconds.
I once ran out of my house in my pajamas at 2 in the fucking morning because I heard a dog screaming like it had been hit by a car. As I’m pelting towards the road barefoot I see an open garage with two people standing there and a husky in the back of a truck. I slowed down and asked them if that noise had been their dog.
Heavily embarrassed they admitted that it was. The reason for the godawful tortured sound the dog had made?
“We took his running harness off.”
And that was the moment I vowed to never own a husky.
I frequently pet sit for a friend’s husky, who is completely normal and unremarkable for her kind with one crucial exception.
She is dumb as soup.
(You didn’t hear that from me: her owner thinks she’s a genius, bless him.)
Anyway, my dog Tribble thinks Arya the husky is one of her very own adopted babies, so she stays with us fairly often. Reasons I have heard this dog dissolve into a screaming, wailing meltdown include:
I followed my buddy up a mildly steep hill and now she’s gone and I can’t figure out how to get down
That one cat won’t be friends with me even though all the others will
I hopped up on the sofa and the hardwood floor next to it is much more confusing than the laminate I have lived on since I was two months old and I don’t know how to get down
I’m mildly bored and my buddy yelled at me when I tried to bite her neck for the zillionth time
I want to play with that potted plant but you said I couldn’t
I’m overcome with joy because you took me on a walk to the hardware store
I want that biscuit but I forgot what sit means and now I’m frustrated
I haven’t seen you in two weeks and I forgot you weren’t dead and I’m overjoyed
You are not petting me enough
You are not petting me at all
I got lost four times in five minutes on the off leash trail and now you won’t let me off again for a while
There’s a brush and I need it
You made eye contact with me and didn’t immediately drop everything to pet me
She’s a very good dog, and she’s a sweet dog who is never offended by anything, but the screaming has singlehandedly ensued I will never, ever, ever own a husky. I like having functioning ears too much.
To be fair, you and your friend may both be right: huskies, like border-collies, are just intelligent enough to develop Exciting Cognitive Neuroses, much like a toddler, which frankly dumber dogs will skip because they don’t actually have quite enough extra cognitive space to think up ways to be utterly fucking ridiculous.
I kind of suspect this is going on here in part because of the dog being so very specifically upset that the one cat won’t be friends, despite all the other cats being friends, and also the overcome-with-joy bits: you’ll notice they’re very similar to what makes toddlers randomly cry for no reason.
Where a bulldog doesn’t care about the difference between laminate and hardwood, a husky is just smart enough to get VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW THESE ARE SUBTLY DIFFERENT AND POSSIBLY IT MEANS THAT GETTING DOWN WILL BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE AAAAAUGH! and get hysterically anxious about it.
“Smarter”, in animals as in humans, does not actually always mean “more sensible.” XD
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