birdcelly:

andy-the-anon:

birdcelly:

john mulaney & ned fulmer are never allowed to meet bc they will either fight to the death to prove who loves their wife more or just absolutely gush abt their wives for eternity

No, no they would fight Seinfeld wouldn’t they

seinfeld would say some shit like he did in front of both of them and ned would not hesitate to start fighting him and john would help bc he seems like the kind of friend to just be like “Well This Is Happening. Guess I Gotta Kick An Old Man’s Ass”

then they would sit down for some coffee and talk about how great their wives are

themightynyunyi:

rockofages-pointbreak:

*literally anything out of the ordinary happens on Asgard* 

Thor, without hesitation or need of context: Loki  

#even Frigga doesn’t argue #she’s like go #go take care of whatever mess your punk little brother caused this time #even when he’s locked in his room he causes trouble #why am I even surprised anymore

“Because,” said Thor, “when something goes wrong, the first thing I always think is, it is Loki’s fault. It saves a lot of time.”

space-fey:

thatonelesbiangirl:

so I work at a library now and during training we were shown each section and how they’re organized bluh bluh normal stuff, until we got to the 680s and my boss sighed at this shelf nearly busting from the weight of a shit ton of yarn books. now you may be wondering “how much is a shit ton of yarn books exactly max???” well let’s just say it’s about 2 shelves worth crammed onto one.
so when we got to this area my supervisor looked at us new pages and said in the most serious voice, “if anyone EVER gives you book donations never EVER accept donations of yarn books. EVER.” and we all laughed but deep down in the pit of my stomach I knew that was not a joke.

fast forward to a month later (today) and my shift starts pretty normally, I’m casually chatting with my co worker about video games and sorting books in the workroom when this couple walk into our workroom with big boxes saying they wanted to donate some books. so my coworker nods and says something about just leaving them there and he’ll grab our manager. so they put down these boxes and leave. so my manager comes along exclaiming how nice it is to get such a big donation and so she walks to the boxes, opens them, and starts shouting “JAMES GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW JAMES IT HAPPENED AGAIN” and so now I’m interested and I walk over and it just looks like boxes filled to the brim with books until I see the books all had library stickers on them and all have the numbers 680. so james comes running over and sees them and drops to his knees and starts shaking his head.

so then we got the details. apparently all libraries in my city all have too many yarn books and since you can technically check out a book and return it to any library and they’ll just shelve it there, all libraries just try and get rid of the books by tricking other libraries into taking them in. ways of this happening is staff from one library checking out the maximum amount they can of yarn books and dropping books around another library, or just viciously shoving these books through our returns, and now this, and apparently it’s a full out war with war maps and planning sheets written inside these yarn books. so please for the love of god never donate yarn books to your local library

Ahhhhh I also work at a library and this applies to all craft books. The 700-760 section is ridiculous. Plus they tend to be weird shapes/sizes which makes the mess worse