ok so i know that when we were all young fanchildren we all watched this movie and sighed dreamily. but i am here to tell u that this movie is even better than u remember
1. the main conflict in the movie is the arranged marriage. i’m gonna stop right here, because princesses in arranged marriages are a classic fanfiction trope that we are all trash for. don’t lie to yourself. but it gets BETTER. not only is there an arranged marriage… the guy she’s arranged to marry is actually a really chill dude. u like this dude. u know they would be good friends and partners. he would make a good king. but sHE DOESNT LOVE HIM!!! she doesn’t love him. and it would be so easy for the narrative to say ~oh look at this selfish girl she has a handsome titled good man ready to marry her she’s so SELFISH for wanting passion and true love, so naive~ (see fuckboys: i’m so nice and handsome why doesn’t she love me she’s horrible) instead the narrative presents her not marrying him as a perfectly valid choice and one the viewer sides with her on. the narrative supports her choice and makes it clear it was the right decision. ADDITIONALLY, the solution presented to fix the arranged marriage problem is to DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY. like???? don’t fuck with me this movie is perfect
2. literally the other main conflict is the love interest. he’s essentially a conman trying to convince mia to fall passionately in love with him so he can steal the throne. but along the way… he falls in love with her. THIS IS LITERALLY THE PLOT OF THREE THOUSAND FANFICTIONS PEOPLE
3. speaking of fanfiction…this movie is one. like, i’m not even joking. the first princess diaries movie essentially compiled the first 3 books into a movie, but the sequel wasn’t based on the books at all. disney just pulled something out of their asses and was like “this will make the fangirls happy”
4. at the beginning of the movie mia graduates from princeton’s woodrow wilson school of international affairs… literally one of the best international studies programs on the planet.. then she’s flown to a castle…where she’s a princess..and has hot men falling all over her…and wears ballgowns…like…mia is such a mary sue but somehow the movie manages to avoid making her one AT ALL
5. also holy shit??! mia doesn’t just stand around looking pretty as a princess.. she’s clearly really smart and genuinely cares about the people of genovia and does her best to serve them well even to it’s hard work… like damn mia is fucking committed to being a good queen she’s not just a princess because castles make good backdrops for romances
6. the queen/joe YAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS u fucking know u shipped that shit
7. THE ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT FUCKING THE PATRIARCHY. MIA IS PORTRAYED AS KIND AND SENSITIVE BUT THAT ADDS TO HER APPEAL AS A RULER NOT DETRACTS FROM IT. AT THE END OF THE MOVIE SHE’S LIKE “fuck these rules written by old white men, i’m gonna make my own less sexist rules” AND THEN SHE FUCKING DOES?!? SHE FUCKING CALLS OUT THE SEXISM OF THE LAWS AND THEN CHANGES THEM. HELLO WOMEN IN PARLIAMENT! GOODBYE BOYS CLUBS! A WOMAN IS FULLY CAPABLE OF RULING ON HER OWN WITHOUT A MAN AND SHE FUCKING DRILLS THAT INTO THEIR GODDAMN HEADS
8. chris pine. what a hot piece of ass amiright
9. the number of times something fucking bizarre happens to mia and she theoretically looks into the camera like she’s on the office is comedic gold honestly. the maids?? flirting with her arranged husband?? climbing out a window?? the fAKE LEG!? mia is just trying to live her life but the universe keeps fucking it up. i feel u mia.
in sum i have n o idea how the fuck this movie got made but goddamn is it not god’s gift to man
You forgot:
10. It’s women working together that foil the plot. Uncle Gimli’s maid is the one who tells Chris Pine that his uncle sabotaged the romantic night out in order to discredit Mia, aka the love of his life. The last we see of her is her eating pear-flavored popcorn with her feet up.
11. Also the arranged fiance, when she dumps him AT THE ALTAR, he THANKS HER for saving him from just doing his duty and not actually living his own life.
12. Lily. Everything about Lily. “Should I shoo him or should I shoo him? Tell me who to shoo and I’ll shoo.” “My hello is insignificant. Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, come with me.”
using “i’m gay” to justify yourself and your decisions is good and fun when it’s to defend your tacky outfit or your 3am impulse-buys on amazon but don’t let me catch you using it to defend your racism and transphobia babes!
Well… You are a terrible influence and I love it! 😂
Hi I want to say. This seems cool in theory but please do not try this on your front door or other doors that you ever want to be able to lock again.
I know this is going to sound really dumb, and I’m not proud of it, but one day I got locked out of the house and, because I had seen this exact post like once, and having plenty of bobbi pins on my dumbass head, decided I might as well try and pick the lock. In my defense, I was in the middle of a nervous breakdown and was fully aware that I probably wasn’t going to be able to actually pull it off, but figured I’d try to amuse myself for the hour or so I had to wait for my mom to come home.
HERE’S THE CATCH. LOCKS ARE REALLY, REALLY FUCKING SENSITIVE. If you fuck around with them even a little bit, you will just absolutely ruin it and the key will be completely useless from that point onward. Obviously this did not occur to me in time to stay my destructive little idiot hands. The many times that I have seen thieves and cool action heroes pick locks in movies or vidya games, it was in situations where they didn’t really give a shit if they ruined the lock forever. But, that’s what I did to the front door of my own fucking house. Spoiler: I didn’t even manage to get in. I just fucked up the lock so bad that NO KEY WOULD WORK. That was fun to explain to my mom when she got home to let me in with her now completely useless key. I wound up climbing in through a window and we had to replace the front door lock.
So yeah. Your thieves skill did not increase from seeing this post but my Dumb Idiot That Fucks Up Everything skill skyrocketed. Please don’t be like me.
made the mistake of reading up about Alexander the Great’s relationship with his best friend Hephaestion and learnt that he was kind of a drama queen because
after Hephaestion died, he spent maybe 1.5 billion dollars on his funeral which is a conservative estimate
spent all night weeping over the body until they dragged him away
extinguished a light only reserved to signify the death of the king (i.e. himself, Alexander the Great)
went to the oracle and petitioned to have Hephaestion granted the status of a god but was denied
nine months later, was still planning expensive monuments dedicated to his pal, except then he died, so what can you do
people say the only thing that ever defeated Alexander the Great was Hephaestion’s thighs
History trying to tune down the gay be like “This friendship lasted throughout their lives, and was compared, by others as well asthemselves, to that of Achilles and Patroclus.” without realising that’s the gayest comparison they could make.
So, basically Muppets possess every single human trait except the ability to love each other in a romantic way?
@madam-melon-meow but they’re from completely different shows and they’re just manipulated dolls???
Hey hey hey whoa whoa hey, don’t tag my follower in your wrongness!
1.) Sesame Street characters are Muppets. Period. The show needed a good catch so Jim Henson created Muppets specifically for Sesame Street and was involved in the characterization of every single one. They may have been two different shows but they should still be compared to the Muppets because Jim Henson made both pretty interchangeable.
2.) It’s more than manipulated dolls. Like I’m not even being sentimental here. Sesame Street has been a cultural phenomenon. If you go to the City Museum of New York, you’ll see a video where Sesame Street actors (who were part of the Black Panther Party) talked about institutional racism in the 1970s. They had a character who’s father was incarcerated, a character who was HIV-positive, a character who breastfed, multiple characters with disabilities, etc. Top-rated colleges in the country are studying Sesame Street. They’ve been studying Sesame Street for decades because that’s the whole point of the show: it’s one gigantic experimental formula to see how children react to different environments being portrayed through fiction. That’s literally it’s entire purpose. That’s why I have no doubt that the writer who said Bert and Ernie are gay is going to get fired, not because they think that, but because every single second of that show and its media portrayal is planned out ahead of time and this was certainly a wrench in the formula. That’s why Sesame Street is backpedaling. If Bert and Ernie were meant to show LGBT representation then they need to release that in controlled experiments to monitor how kids react. Because that’s all the show is really about. Source: Me, a former Early Childhood Education Major who had to learn these things for half a decade.
But I’m not an Early Childhood Education Major anymore which means I can safely say:
3.) Smutty anime is just manipulated lines but that doesn’t stop you from filling your blog with pics now, does it?
sparksoffandommagic 