mothman (one night stand ONLY and then you go and grab a coffee with him, either that or fwb)
robots. both humanoid (mettaton) to complete robot (glados)
big fucking gay orcs with large teeth (wlw / mlm solidarity)
warewolves, nuff said
not a monster but any modern variety of a plague doctor ( honerable mention)
NOT FUCKABLE!!! (NO!!!)
frankenstein (this guy is like a brother or bff, he takes you out to a nice resteraunt after a breakup or watches bad horror movies with you). he’s your friend and he loves you
godzilla. listen. you cant fuck godzilla. that’s just messing with nature now. cmon. godzilla is an old gay man who’s the father figure of all the monsters and he’s been married to king kong for 45 years. you can’t fuck godzilla. it’s forbidden.
I don’t know if that’s meant in a metaphorical way as in, “their insults have no bite” or a literal sense as in “someone was talking shit so he got his fucking teeth knocked out” but I like it either way
hypothesis: the salt & pepper diner experiment can no longer be conducted as it stands, because everyone is now fully attuned to the opening bars of tom jones’ “what’s new pussycat?”, classically conditioned into a fight-or-flight response. however, this experience can be replicated using 21 back-to-back plays of lou bega’s 1999 hit song “mambo no. 5″, as the general response to “mambo no. 5″ being played twice in a row is not, “hey someone’s playing “mambo no. 5″ again,” but rather, “hey, lou bega’s 1999 hit song “mambo no. 5″ is a lot longer than i first thought.”
i love calling the most mundane things sexy like my roommate just let me know that we’re going to have an in-unit washer & dryer in the apartment that we’re moving into and my first thought is “that is so sexy”
the real reason dumbledore ain’t gonna be gay in the newest film is because jude law took one look at johnny depp and refused to even pretend to have affection for that bleached little not-colin-farell
sparksoffandommagic 