why is broccoli seen as this universally hated vegetable. broccoli is delicious
bc suburban families all over the world literally just steam/microwave their vegetables and serve them plain to their kids. No wonder kids hate vegetables. They’re taught that veggies are supposed to taste bad. but imagine: veggies with spices. Veggies in curry. veggies that are broiled, soaked, sautéed. aghhhh veggies are so good
Veggies of color (VOC)
People post good veggie recipes!!! Go!
i’m a vegan/vegetarian chef and yeah people generally don’t… season or… actually think about their vegetables at all? like if you treat your meal like “MEAT + unfortunate side dish i don’t want to eat + dessert” no fucking wonder you’re going to be unhappy with your results?? literally everyone should know how to cook vegetables WELL, because they can be fucking DELICIOUS?
it’s not surprising to me that most people don’t actually… KNOW how to cook vegetables, which is really, really sad. so imma help y’all out.
– grill your fucking vegetables? if you have a grill, or even a little dinky george foreman–grill those bitches. brush them with olive oil–or a mix of olive oil and balsalmic vinegar if you’re fancy, grill, salt, pepper, fresh herbs if you want, BAM. delicious. if you don’t, roasting is your next best option. you can also (if you have a gas stove and are ambitious) “grill” on the stove top. many a time i’ve stuck a sweet pepper on the stove and lit that bitch up!
– braise those bitches??? good for leafy greens and vegetables like turnips and radishes. finely chop some garlic, onion, or scallion (or all three if you’re bold) and sautee them in a little oil. once they’re almost cooked, add your veg. keep it moving, don’t let anything burn, and add a capful of white wine, or cooking wine. DELICIOUS.
– FRESH. HERBS. ARE. YOUR. FRIENDS? if you cannot get fresh (admittedly, i live on a farm, so i’m never short on things like dill, parsley, thyme, scallion, or cilantro) but they’re amazing on fresh veggies. sauteed in them in a pan? add some herbs. roasted them in the oven? add some herbs (and brown sugar if you want a savory sweet vibe)
– roast them in the oven if you don’t have time (or spoons) to stand up next to a hot ass stove for 5-20 minutes! vegetables that are good for roasting are typically ones that take a long time to cook, eggplants, potatoes, carrots, pumpkin, etc. of course, you can roast any veggie you like!
– MARINATE THOSE BITCHES??? literally you can make delicious marinades out of items most of you already have in your homes: honey/brown sugar, salt, soy sauce, sesame oil, etc.
– FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK STOP ADDING EVERYTHING TO THE PAN AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME. time out your veggies when sauteeing them for anything. if you’re doing a bunch of different ones, add the veggies to the pan first that take the longest. Making stir fry? put those motherfucking carrots in first, because they take FOREVER. onions, carrots, potatoes? put those in first. corn, broccoli, sweet pepper, zucchini? closer to the end, my dude, because they cook FAST.
– ginger and scallion go excellently in stir fry btw. if when you make your stir fry it tastes like it’s “missing something”, that’s what you’re missing. add that shit.
– you do NOT FUCKING NEED CHICKEN/BEEF STOCK FOR YOUR GODDAMN SOUP IF IT DOESN’T HAVE MEAT IN IT! sautee your veggies first, and you can use either powdered or canned coconut milk as the body. it makes for deliciously creamy soup. don’t worry about the coconut taste–it’s pretty much gone by the time your soup/stew is done cooking. coconut milk (especially powdered, and soy milk works for this too, no vanilla flavoring obviously) makes an excellent base for sauces for veggies, even if you eat meat!
lastly, give it the ol’ ratatouille. smell your herbs and spices together. if they seem like they go well, odds are, they’ll taste bangin’ once you combine them. experiment. everything you make will not be good, but you’ll get more comfortable cooking. i’ve been a chef for like two years and i burned some bread today, so it’s okay. you’ll make mistakes. that’s how you learn. don’t be afraid to cut or burn yourself–the more afraid you are, the more likely it is to happen.
you’re welcome, signed your local angry vegetarian chef who wants people to eat more vegetables
Could someone transport this psa 15 years ago @ my parents
me talking to an adult about computers: yes babette i know everything. yes its going very quickly. thats bc im familiar with it. just let me – done. you’re welcome
me talking to a tech person my age: do i look like i know what a jpeg is
*A plastic coffee stir stick can fool any push in coin acceptor that loads the coins on edge. Just insert stir stick, push the mechanism forward until you feel the stick hit a bump, push the bump down with the stick and push the mech all the way in
*If you look like you know what you’re doing, no one will bother you.
*When lying, always include something slightly embarrassing, or something that makes you look bad, as part of your story. It’s not only going to disarm their skepticism (admitting to something embarrassing gives an impression of humility), but even if they remain skeptical, they’ll be left wondering why you would make something up that you’d rather keep secret if it were true
*Using Clorox or any bleach will turn the red/pink liquid detection dot on electronic devices back to white so they replace them under warranty
* “A drug dealer in DC taught me to pick my nose if the police are staring at me. No one picks their nose if they think someone is watching them, so it’s the ultimate way of being nonchalant.”
* "I learned that you can get into almost any special event by wearing a chef coat. Even just carrying one and walking like you know where you’re going will work every time. Most people don’t want to look stupid by asking you who you are.“
* "My go to missing work call was never “I’m sick”, it was “Family problems”. They never questioned it, it’s vague enough and embarrassing enough that nobody ever asks.“
*As part of the employee training at Target, they teach you that if a customer argues over a price, and the full price is under $20, to just give it to them for whatever price they claim. It’s cheaper for the company to move on to the next customer than to call in a price check.
*Put a rolled up sock in the change slot on a vending machine, come back back 4 days later….and pull sock….you will be 6-ish dollars richer.
*If it’s a small lie, like who farted or who put the empty milk carton in the fridge, I’ll tell a terrible lie. I’ll not be able to hold a straight face, contradict myself, basically suck at lying.Now everyone I know thinks I can’t tell a lie to save my life. So when I really need a big lie, I nail it every time. No one ever suspects me when I lie straight faced.
*Bring crutches to an airport. Bypass every line (including boarding) and you are chauffeured to your gate the second you pass through security.
*Make up a secret to share with someone- they may open up and share far more valuable real secrets.
*Here’s a classic. Drive over to your 7/11 of choice. Fill up a Slurpee and drop some candy bars in that bitch. Make sure the candy bars aren’t showing. Cover the Slurpee and pay for it. Free Snickers bitch.
*I tell everyone i’ve never done any drugs. Suddenly everyone offers me cocaine, ecstasy, pot, lsd. I think i’ve had $200 worth of drugs each weekend for free.Same with liquor. “Im not drinking tonight” BOOM! Everyone gives me booze. Its like everyone wants to break your integrity as soon as you tell them you are not doing whatever they are doing.
*If you need to cash from an ATM and its not a large amount, buy a 5 cent piece of gum from a gas station that has the cash back option. Its cheaper than a $3 charge
*Act less intelligent than you really are. Acting stupid can get you out of some tricky situations. Feigning ignorance is way better than admitting you knew better but did it anyway. My old man used to say ‘It is easier to beg forgiveness than ask for permission’…sometimes it’s true.
*Every time I fly, when I land I’ll pen a little complaint to the airline that flew me. You know, I’ll come up with something like “oh, they denied me a drink! Oh, the food wasn’t vegetarian!” Whatever miscellaneous hogwash potpourri comes to my crazy brain. And like clockwork, within a business day, they’re reimbursing me with a $50 voucher, a $100 voucher, I can sell that on the secondary market.
*I’ve always had a lot of success in shutting nosy people up by blaming any personal issue on allergies. Crying from a panic attack? Allergies giving me puffy eyes. What’s that mysterious pill I’m taking? Allergy meds. Why am I acting spaced out/hungover/tired? Allergies meds making me drowsy.
*If you really wanna get away with some shit, buy a reflective vest, a white hard hat, and a clipboard. You can go ANYWHERE.
Everybody likes to portray Germany as like this responsible adult but the man is younger than AMERICA and was raised by PRUSSIA. I feel like he’s just super extra about everything
Prussia: Ludwig why are you holding a funeral in the backyard…?
Germany:*solemnly*It was the best shirt I ever had.
Prussia: LUDDY WHY ARE YOU MICROWAVING RAW POTATOES
Germany: Only the strong will not explode. It’s natural selection.
Prussia: I’m back–
Germany: You were gone five minutes longer that you said you would be. You’re a failure and a disgrace to this household. I had to feed your dogs for you, and I finished all of your chores. You’re tearing this family apart.
carry onby rainbow rowell: it’s harry potter but gay and with extra scones and dumbledore wears tights
the raven cycle seriesby maggie steifvater (everyone has heard of this already so): delightfully weird with the strongest set of characters in anything i’ve read and lots of cars and bees
shades of magic series by ve schwab: whimsical fantasy and cross-dressing pirates and again, brilliant characters and just excitingness
monsters of verity duology by ve schwab: so so dark with savagely beautiful imagery and creepy nursery rhymes and almost horror writing in book 2
villains duology by ve schwab: moral ambiguity!!! edginess!!! subversion of the superhero genre!!! characters you both like and hate!!! gritty urban settings!!!
six of crows duologyby leigh bardugo: more moral ambiguity and an absolutely stellar cast of six with an insanely well-crafted heist
the great library series by rachel caine: a book about books do i need to say more also christopher wolfe is my dad, the worldbuilding is insane and this is SO underrated
the girl at midnight seriesby melissa grey: the poetic justice makes me cry every time i think about it and honestly it’s just worth reading to see the character development dorian goes through
magisterium series by cassandra clare and holly black: harry potter but so much darker even though it’s mg not ya, and it has already made me cry my entire soul out so considering it’s written by 2 of the most popular authors this is criminally underrated honestly
strange the dreamerby laini taylor: i’m only halfway through this but the worldbuilding is amazing and the writing is absolutely gorgeous and it actually has a plot unlike some books this reminds me of
CONTEMPORARY
all for the game seriesby nora sakavic: so dark and so quick-paced and exciting with more amazing characters and more jaw-dropping plot twists and a mc who likes to destroy people on live tv
one of us is lying by karen m. mcmanus: criminally good ending that might be a direct comparison to a certain other popular tv series around rn with also a good cast of characters
troublemakers by catherine barter: really poignant narrative on protesting and things and it really helped me come to terms with the attack on my city in may
releaseby patrick ness: ok this crosses over into fantasy but it’s like 80% contemporary and it’s just a really good story on coming out into a homophobic environment and coming to terms with being loved and stuff
a list of cages by robin roe: just straight-up made me cry until i couldnt breathe honestly it has lots of narrative abt child abuse but if that’s not bad for you it’s really really good
HISTORICAL
the song of achilles by madeline miller: again, i straight up cried by the end of this one. the dramatic irony (cough cough what has hector ever done) is honestly the best dramatic irony in any book ive ever read ever
the gentleman’s guide to vice and virtue by mackenzi lee: just a really fun whimsical book with pirates and a cute relationship and good side characters and things like that
PLEASE SEND ME MORE I’M RUNNING OUT OF BOOKS TO READ
sparksoffandommagic 