Knives: wary-eyed, limited color palettes, light steps,
vantage points, dodging conflicts, careful mediation, small and welcoming
spaces, trusts slowly, listens deeply, constant radio contact, misty weather,
ferocious anger.
Heavy Swords: metal hues, strong gaze, deep laughter, dry
thunderstorms, unafraid of people, flinty jokes, masked discomfort, soul-searching,
mildly attentive, somewhat headstrong, adapting to any space.
Light/Fencing Swords: stinging humor, comfort clothes, no
hesitation, last minute work, up in the morning, respectful even if frank, reads
people well, frighteningly comfortable, unassuming but powerful, modest space
occupation but iron-set boundaries, soft fabric.
Spears: woefully insecure, afraid of people, social
experiments, unassuming fashion choice, wanting to be liked, loneliness,
overcast skies, voices like thunder, tripping over words, caring deeply and
having a hard time showing it, protectiveness, unrestrained awareness of
mortality, loss, dogs at their heels, tenacity, unsure how to occupy space.
Sheilds: harsh reprimands, quiet approval, unemotive, highly
sympathetic, unaware of their own strength, achy knees, heavy snowfall, pastel
shirts, watchful, bear hugs, accidental callousness, willingness to learn,
accountable, sometimes intimidating, jumping to conclusions.
Maces/Bludgeons: eyes too hard for eye contact, wild hair,
torn clothing, ragged, sleep-deprived, highly emotive, coffee at night, November
wind, unstoppable, great personal restraint, powerful empathy, baby animals,
stubborn, impressionable, takes things too seriously, always with a friend.
Staffs: Distant, assertive, will not be interrupted,
cruel-seeming, well-meaning, responsible, organized, guarded personal life,
familial, tired bones, earl gray, snowless winters, seeing too much, blackmailed,
stretched thin, wounds badly, self-sacrificing.
Bows: too much caffeine, finishing two hours before it’s due,
online chatrooms, few possessions, uninvolved, prideful, challengers, high resting
heartrate, poor hearing or auditory processing, underweight, skipped meals,
transience, summer nights, hard to contact besides one preferred means, static,
hooded jackets.
Unarmed: intensity, hyperfocus, present, attention-seeking,
easily crossed, curious, resilient, red meat and hearty food, droughts, plucky,
loyal, hidden intelligence, underestimating themselves, high achieving, strong
sense of style, even gazes, big and frequent smiles.
Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like:
“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?”
“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.”
“…Noted.”
“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material – however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.”
“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”
“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”
“Yeah.”
“Does such a process not hurt?”
“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.”
“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?”
“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?”
“…I believe I should speak with my superiors.”
I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs.
Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues
sparksoffandommagic 