At the end of Trump’s term I’m going to write a book called “Lies My President Told Me” and it’s just going to be a run down of every single day he was in office with a list of the (known) lies each day, followed by the actual, easily provable truth. It will be 5,000 pages long, and I will get thousands of death threats upon publication.
Correction: the title will be “Alternative Facts The President Told Me”, but the word “lies” will be written on the cover and slashed through with “alternative facts” written in over it. The cover photo will be Trump making his famous blowfish face while wearing a MAGA hat. Rachel Maddow provides a review for the back cover but it’s mostly unprintable orgasm noises, because this is a bestseller goddammit.
Foreword by Former President and Forever Heartthrob Barack Obama.
I think this will be a tough sell. I mean, the shipping alone will kill people, and some of us have weight lifting restrictions that will prevent us from being able to read it.
Instead, I recommend you release a collection, one volume for each year in office (and oh my dog I hope it doesn’t have to be a four-part set). Heck, since year one is over, it could come out any time now. We could get the social media marketing going now to build up hype and generate interest.
You’re a genius! I have the first two volumes already named:
Alternative Facts the President Told Me: Crowd Size and Red Ties
Alternative Facts the President Told Me: Russia’s Greatest Love Machine
Tentative future volume title ideas:
This Divorce Was My Idea
Yeah, But Her Emails
Nuclear Winter Of My Discontent
Should’ve Had a G8
Pardon Me
Fake News and Golf Shoes
Putin on the Ritz
Orange Is the New Black
Donnie Trump and the Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Presidency
@madamebomb – your title skills are wickedly good.
Accuracy + puns = publishing gold
@igotbitter this is gold
Published
sparksoffandommagic 