Stan: “I don’t want to be rude here, I really don’t, but I feel like I need to have a tetanus shot after reading your poem and also you should apologize”
Richie: “EVERYONE SHUT UP, I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY…………..*whispering* what the sweet and sour FUCK is a PREPOSITION”
Mike: “Someone drew a frowny face on my manuscript and I’m going to give you all five minutes for someone to fess up before I tickle the answer out of you. Don’t make me go there, I am ruthless”
Eddie: “I wrote this scene out of pure spite and a lot of chocolate covered coffee beans so you can bet your mediocre ass that this word vomit would make Mark Twain shit himself and openly sob—in that order”
Bev: One girl showed up to class fifteen minutes late with just the excuse of “I was navigating my inner labyrinth for the answer to why God allows us to suffer” and the teacher asked if she found the answer and the girl just replied “Velcro“
Bill: “I wrote this poem with a lot of alliteration because my lisp can go fuck itself. Power move”
Ben: “My poem has the structural integrity of mashed potatoes but none of the satisfaction”
Bonus:
Pennywise: Look all I want to do is kick back, listen to showtunes, and terrify some children, why is that a problem
Bill: William Shookspeare
Ben: Edgar Allan Woah man chill out
Richie: Charles Got His Dick-ins
Bev: Guys what the fuck is your problem, you’re being so rude???
Bill, Ben, and Richie: …uh….we, um-
Bev: Let’s be feminists here. Jane AusDAMN BITCH
*disorderly high fives with reckless abandon*
The Losers Club as things that have been said in my godawful writing class
Published
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