joe-normal:

>be a genderfluid shapeshifter
>crash land on an alien planet and spend the next two months hooking up with jeff goldblum for fun and profit
>shithead brother shows up in the midst of your thottery 
>now you have to fight all his dirtbag friends including this incredibly buff woman
>oh god she’s a huge lesbian
>oh god YOU’RE a huge lesbian
>incredibly buff woman does not know this about you and all you end up doing is staring up at her in awe
>proceed to get your ass kicked because you forgot to put on the right gender when you left the house this morning