Shit I’ve Heard High Schoolers Say

writtenrain:

• Why stop at capitalism? Destroy everything.
• Guys it’s been three weeks since I’ve eaten a vegetable
• At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence
• An AP student: Oh my god I thought seven was less than six 

• (while filling the cap of their water bottle with water) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS 

• friend one: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou-
  friend two: probably

• I’M GONNA GO HOME AND DRINK A WHOLE GLASS OF WEED
• If cows ruled the world would they drink human milk?
• student: my calculator is broken
  teacher: your calculator isn’t broken, you’re broken

• no actually I think you have to be of age to be considered a cougar
• (during math class on the second floor) student 1: so like how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?  
  student 2: enough

• teacher: has anyone ever been to New Orleans?
  Student: does Popeyes count?

• my word count on this paper isn’t very high but I certainly am
• we’re in adult limbo. I’m not a teen and I’m not an adult. I’M SUFFERING, THAT’S WHAT I AM!
• Look at my… (swings leg up to show shorts) not pants