How To Read Sheet Music by Julian Cianciolo
I am extremely entertained by this
[Calm, relaxed piano music plays throughout the video while a monotone voice speaks. Most of the narration is accompanied by text that says the same thing, unless stated otherwise.
“How to Read Sheet Music. By a twelve-year-old.” A quick, high-pitched beep sounds, accompanied by a screen full of brightly-coloured rectangles. “By someone not qualified to talk about sheet music. Let’s start with the staff.”
A staff is visible in the middle of the screen: five horizontal black lines with a treble clef on the far left side. “This is a staff. This symbol at the beginning tells you which clef to play. There are two main clefs: the low one–” a bass clef is shown in the place of the treble clef– “and the high one.” The treble clef returns.
“There are also some more obscure clefs that you’ll never be told about.” An alto clef is shown, then an image of hand-written sheet music. The upper left corner of the image is circled in red, and inside the circle is a clef that the captioner doesn’t know. Underneath the image reads: “The 7 Clefs Music Teachers Don’t Want You to Know!”
“The two main clefs, treble and bass, are connected by a middle note we call C.” Two staves are shown, one on top of the other, with a treble clef in the top staff and a bass clef in the bottom one. The middle note, C, appears when the narrator mentions it, and the corresponding note plays. “You’ll find that a lot of music stuff is based around C. Except tuning, that’s based around A.” An A is shown on the treble clef staff, and the note plays. “Unless you play in a band, then it’s based on the note right above A.” A sharp symbol is added to the A, and an A# plays.
“That is, assuming you play an instrument that calls notes what they actually are. Instruments that call notes what they actually are include these.” On the left side of the screen is a list of instruments that includes: ‘flutes, strings, keyboards, trombones & tubas, bassoons, oboes’.
“While instruments that don’t call notes what they actually are include these.” On the right side of the screen is a list of instruments that includes: ‘clarinets, trumpets, saxophones, French horns, mellophones, some euphoniums, weird flutes, recorders, bugles, cornets, weird trombones & tubas.’
“Notes are found on the lines and spaces of the staff. They all sound different, and if you put them together, they sound nice.” A staff with a treble clef is shown, and as the narrator talks, several notes of different values appear on the staff and then fade out. When the narrator says ‘they sound nice’, a D flat and a C appear on the staff and play together, creating dissonance.
“This is a whole note.” A whole note is shown. “Sometimes it gets four beats–” a 4/4 time signature is shown to the left of the whole note– “sometimes it doesn’t.” A 9/8 time signature takes the place of the previous one.
“This is a half note.” A half note is shown. “It gets half the length of a whole note. A quarter note gets half the length of that–” a quarter note is shown– “while an eighth note gets half the length of that.” An eighth note is shown. “This pattern continues on for a bit–” a line of notes is shown; from left to right, a whole note, a half note, a quarter note, an eighth note, and a sixteenth note– “so you can make notes as short as you please. For example, the 256th note–” a 256th note is shown– “or the demisemihemidemisemiquaver. You’ll find that information very useful.”
Two staves are shown, eight measures between them. Several notes are shown, including a whole rest in the last measure. “Now that you know the notes and rhythms, it’s time to move on to the important stuff, and figure out what all these symbols mean.” Several symbols are added to the staves, including volume markers, a 6/8 time signature, and a fermata. “So let’s just go through them.”
A breath mark is shown: “This reminds you when to breathe. In case you forget to breathe.”
A pause is shown: “Stop playing, contemplate, and continue playing.”
A common-time symbol is shown: “This is easy.” A half-time symbol is shown: “This is not.”
A 5/4 time signature is shown: “Counting to five has never been more difficult.”
The word Solo is shown: “You were never informed of this.”
A mezzo-piano symbol (mp) is shown: “Meh.” A piano symbol (p) is shown: “Be soft.” A pianissimo symbol (pp) is shown: “Softer.” A pianississimo symbol (ppp) is shown: “Don’t even bother.”
A mezzo-forte symbol (mf) is shown: “Meh.” A forte symbol (f) is shown: “Be loud.” A fortissimo symbol (ff) is shown: “Louder.” A fortississimo symbol (fff) is shown: “Don’t even bother.”
A forte-piano symbol (fp) is shown: “Play loud, and then don’t.” A sforzando symbol (sfz) is shown: “Play loud, and then… don’t.”
The word Subito is shown: “If you’re reading this, it’s already too late.”
A Coda and a segno are shown: “So you go back when… no, wait…”
A tremolo is shown: the audio is the noise that happens when one makes an “oo” sound and runs their finger up and down over their lips.
A glissando is shown: “This is only fun when playing trombone. …And is also the only fun thing about playing trombone.”
A ritardando (rit.) and an accelerando (accel.) are shown: “You should probably stop staring at the paper.”
The word Soli is shown: “Like a solo, but everyone gets credit.”
An 8-measure rest is shown: “You’re unimportant.” A 64-measure rest is shown: “You’re very unimportant.”
A repeat-measure symbol (it looks like a percent sign) is shown: “At least you’re playing.”
A repeat symbol (double bar with two dots) is shown: “You thought it was over.”
A Triad of three whole notes are shown, (three notes, one on top of the other but skipping the note in between each) : “Someone’s playing the wrong note.”
A double bar is shown: “Just… stop.”
The screen cuts to black, then shows black text that reads: “This guide has been brought to you by Julian Cianciolo. Please read sheet music responsibly.”
The calming piano music is abruptly interrupted by the D flat and C from earlier being played over and over and over again, until the end of the video finally cuts it off.]
:O thank you for transcribing!
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
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