high!jack

zimmboners:

• likes to cuddle a lot
• no this is not funny or cute or considerate he will drape himself over u like ur an actual body pillow and he will not move for hours. you’d better have your phone charged. bitty learned the hard way
• altho it’s a fun time for the other stoners like one day you’ll come into the haus and jack, shitty, lardo and maybe nursey’s in a cuddle pile on the disgusting couch
• laughs at EVERYTHING (like any other stoned person but it’s just weird seeing jack not being a hockey robot)
• he once started laughing at the concept of a hockey puck. why is a puck like that (“like what, jack?”) like…. that
• asks concerning questions “what if the ice in faber broke” “what” “like, what if you got checked so hard u broke through the ice and there’s water underneath and u go for a nice lil swim” “Jack the ice is stable enough to hold a bunch of huge jocks–” “I’m gonna break it tomorrow and see what happens. bitty do you think there’s fish in there” “JACK NO" 
• “BITTLE why do u make so many pies” “…because I’m a baker? I love baking???” “but that’s… there’s so many pies. how do you do it” “i bake them. with ingredients. Jack are you okay” “THERES SO MANY PIES BITTLE” “jack please get off of me my phones dead and i need to charge it i beg u" “ARE YOU A PIE WIZARD”
•  he gets intensely focused on the smallest of things. again, bitty learned this the hard way when, not only is he pinned down and bring spooned by a giant hockey man, the giant hockey man decides to count every single freckle on his face. or almost pokes your eyes out trying to measure your super long eyelashes with a ruler. what the fuck, jack
• gives and requests affection. he once called his dad asking if he loves Jack. “of course I do, Jack. why do you ask” “aw that’s good I love you too papa i give u a lot of shit but ur the best dad ever sorry for pooping in the stanley cup” “what–” “*hangs up*”